Leave to bed tonight knowing this bit of truth: You are who knows best, when it comes to yourself. It's you who decides what to eat, who to touch, where to look. It is you who looks in the mirror and decides to love or hate what you see. It is you who sits when you're tired, and stands when you're not.
Alan Watts said in one of his lectures that the reason for the cross legged pose while meditating is to not fall on your nose if you fall asleep. This small, small thing changed my life. I was looking for something grand, something meticulous, in every single thing out there, a higher truth, unnatainable. It had to be unattainable to be true. What a vicious circle to roam in. I was searching for the I somewhere other than within myself, and that I had to be so intrincate that it would never be understood. Like a scientist looking through a microscope and seeing the universe that contained the earth where he sat looking into a microscope.
But it's really so much simpler.
If you go to etymological search websites in any language you will find that I (Yo in Spanish) has no previous term. It was derived from nothing. I has always been a thing onto itself, albeit some changes in spelling. I is the smallest particle, the quark of language, and therefore of human understanding.
Such a small word, such a small thing, so great a meaning.
So when I say, take this truth to bed, I mean: You, close your eyes and feel it is you within, and no other. No one pulls the strings. There is no one before you or after you. And all the things you find swirling in the middle of the YOU that you are now, at this moment, they are also within the I, and are therefore your responsibility, your gift, your thing. I say you should own it.
May you wake happier tomorrow.