I follow this and I follow that, but I never go alone
I follow all of them from the safety of the bedroom in my home
I follow them on Facebook and I follow them on Twitter
I got so hooked on Tumblr that I often missed my dinner
I have 5,000 friends on Facebook although I’ve never met them
When they launch a brand new product I always go out and get them
I bought the latest iPhone to take the perfect selfie
10,000 selfies later I thought I’d win a trophy
My trophy shelf sits empty just like my aching soul
They will all regret indifference when I’m posting as a troll
I buckled down and knuckled up and decided to press on
I hit the like button so many times my fingerprints are gone
But still I am not famous which really has me pissed
I started wars on Facebook I snarled I scratched I hissed
I turned my sights to Instagram and dialed in the perfect tint
I posted pictures everywhere so they would get the hint
That I’m all of that and a bag of chips by now you must adore me
If that doesn’t work I’ll take your pity that way you’ll follow “poor me”
You will see me at all the concerts you will see me at all the raves
So you will know without a doubt that I have exquisite taste
I wear all the coolest T-shirts the kind that no one else can get
The fact you cannot be me will be your biggest regret
I subscribe, like, follow, and poke on everything you posted
And anyone who challenged me I made sure that they got roasted
I LOL’d and LMAO’d at everything you said
I bought every book that you wrote so I could be well read
I paid a hundred for a million followers so I could be huge on Twitter
I post a famous quote each day so you know I’m not a quitter
I got a hi-def camera but then you could see my pimple
I touched it up with Photoshop a solution that was quite simple
It’s hard to stick with one distraction because there are so many
I’d be a millionaire if every click would yield me just one penny
I haven’t seen the sunshine since the internet was started
To take a chance on missing out, to me, just seems retarded
Just wait ‘til I go viral then all the world will see
That I was right all along the world does revolve around me
2017 - John B Murphy III - All Rights Reserved