What is needed is a recognition of the victim. Do justice to those who have been wronged. Give voice to who has been silenced. Do justice. No revenge. For Absalom, too, full of peace, detracts from his name. The road that Absalom is ultimately ultimately as unlucky as the way of David, who stays powerless on the sidelines. Recognition of the victim means that we choose unambiguously to stand on their side. That we create space where people are safe. That we make it possible for people who are so damaged to find help and perhaps a little recovery.
In the first place, unequivocal choice must be made for justice. We are used to bringing things that people do to each other under the denominator of forgiveness. However, the victims with their guilt are extra strongly stressed, and it is very easy for perpetrators to keep their place in the church. Resistance, law and uprising may be more likely to be the Christian standard than forgiveness in this context.
Secondly, there must be clarity - in sermons, catechisms, church-workers - that experiences of sexual abuse can be discussed. That there is room to be heard. Only if there is explicit recognition and understanding from the church and the pastors, there is a chance that the story will come true. The time of silence is over. As a congregation of Jesus Christ, we will have to face the brokenness that exists among us. Still there is far too little attention for the dozens, thousands who suffer in silence, because hopefully well-meaning bystanders say: 'keep quiet'. That would be pleasant for perpetrators, and for bystanders. Then we could maintain the illusion that our families, churches and schools are safe, warm and reliable.
Thirdly, it will be necessary that we not only judge our sermons, doctrines, and opinions on whether it is a pure representation of the old message. We will also have to ask if it is a representation that brings salvation or disaster to people who have been violated in the depths of their souls. If the right message causes them to aggravate the pain and damage, then something is wrong, no matter how dogmatic it may be, and how fine the rest of the congregation may be. In order to get this in mind, ministers and church councils should be thoroughly informed about sexual abuse and the consequences, if only to avoid being misled by the manipulations of perpetrators. In that respect, it would be good if there was a working group in our churches that was really well informed,
I do not argue for a witch-hunt against people who cross the border. Pastoral care is also needed there, which is primarily clear and confrontational in the first instance. I ask (...) for a church where justice, truth and love prevail. Where stories of pain and injustice are actually heard. Where nothing is covered and nothing is avenged. Where children are protected, victims are restored and offenders are approached. I ask for a church of Jesus Christ, who, unlike Amnon, trusts the trustworthy and Absalom in peace. I ask nothing more than a church where something of God's Kingdom becomes visible.