When you're a pirate, there is ONE rule you should always follow, newbie.
DO NOT PISS OFF THE HUMAN!
DO NOT MAKE A HUMAN.... you did WHAT???
Ok, this is on you, ..... RUN! -- Anon Guest
Do not meddle with Humans, for they are petty and creatively vengeful. If they have seen you, if they know your name, if they know anything about you, they will track you down and extract more than you expect from you.
Mind. Body. Spirit. They will break them all.
Probie Xyn has just been informed of this after looting a singular soft toy from the Flambourgh's Human. She had found the Deathworlder just as he was emerging from the cleansing booth and stunned them at max power. Then she grabbed the closest small object and ran. This, Xyn was learning, was a huge mistake.
The crew of the Insolent Cowdray found out very quickly. Just as quickly, they gave Xyn a small vessel and told her to run as fast as she could into the most dangerous areas she could survive, and then start praying.
That Human would be coming for her. And not in any fun way.
If Xyn was truly unlucky, the Human's friends would be doing the same thing.
If Xyn was smart, said her ex-crew, she would give the toy back with a crawling apology, and then beg for her life.
Given that warning, she had to wonder what was so Powers-damned smart about it.
The smart thing to do was lead the Human away from the Insolent Cowdray, much like a mother bird would feign a broken wing to lure predators away from her nest.
Once a Human starts looking for you, only death will stop them. And if you're clever enough and strong enough to kill one Human? You'll only attract more with even more vengeance on their minds.
But this above all - nothing must happen to the stolen object. If it was harmed in any way, then the vengeance would only get worse.
Xyn put the toy in a self-powered stasis capsule, then buried the capsule on a conglomerate asteroid in the middle of a Sargasso field of both asteroids and wrecked ships. Along with a sincere note of apology.
She prayed it would be enough.
It wasn't.
Years after her flight began, settled on a nowhere planet with just enough facilities to survive and a LOT of paranoid security measures, the Human caught up with her.
He had the toy, which might be a good thing.
"You caught me in the nudd," said the Human. "You cheeky little shit."
This was it. This was where the Human would extract a pound of flesh and perhaps make her watch him eat it.
The Human offered his hand. "That was some amazing reflexes. You lead me a chase and a half, I can tell ya! Here. I got you some plants that can thrive here if you're set on staying. But... you know... if you want a new job that's less risky, I could use someone with your reflexes on my team?"
Wait. What?
[Photo by Kristen Lee on Unsplash]
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