A: Fire rescued someone called for an overdose?
B: He had edibles man.
A: Ok... How many did he have?
B: All of them
A: ... why are they always naked? -- Anon Guest
[AN: Cut down the prompt for brevity. Also content warning for drug mentions and implied nudity and body fluids in the video]
"I said they were therapeutic and that they were for the group session," said Counsellor Ash. "My mistake was trusting that he would restrain himself from ingesting the entire batch. Sem's biggest lure has always been forbidden fruit. I had believed he'd made progress, but... I made a mistake."
"Clearly," said the attending member of the Emergency Response Team. In situations like this, nudity was almost standard. That wasn't the disturbing part. "How the flakk did he get all the way up there?"
"I was preparing the calming tea when he indulged, so I have no idea." Ash looked up at the hole in the ceiling panels and the Human tangled in the cables and pipes above. The little hut made out of the ceiling panels could wait. They were printed from inert, nonhazardous materials, and would not harm the other participants in group therapy. When they were cleared to arrive, of course.
Rescuing Sem required heavy equipment to lift some EMT's to the area of the scene. From there, things got technical.
Emergency Response Teams were highly trained to deal with any emergency. And this included naked people tangled in essential station parts whilst on the worst trip of their lives.
Step one: prepare for the worst.
Three others were moving furniture whilst four set up the inflatable landing pad underneath the patient. ERT Lead Fey was the one in the elevating platform. Just in case they could convince the patient down.
It was not looking so great when Patient Sem shrank into their tangle.
"Dinosaur! Don't eat me, dinosaur!"
Step two: Don't argue with their world, step into it.
"I won't eat you, I'm a friendly dinosaur," cooed Fey. "I'm worried you might bruise the vines... my babies need them unharmed so they don't get sick."
It worked. "Oh, oh I'm sorry. I'll come out. I don't want your babies to get sick."
"Thank you," singsonged Fey. No matter which way he chose to descend, he would land safely. "Why were you all the way up here in the first place?"
"There's invisible faeries in the floor that would eat my toes."
"I see," said Fey. "I have good news for you, then. My friends have special things to help keep the faeries away." Which would be an emergency robe and some nicely safe sedatives that would keep Patient Sem relaxed and happy until they could administer an antidote.
Only then would they haul him away for some good old-fashioned detox protocol.
All in all, just another day at work.
[Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash]
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