Don't go after a ship filled with neophytes. Their adult counterparts will only kill you. Human larvae will do far worse. -- Anon Guest
The ship was painted bright yellow, throwing the bold, black lettering on its hull into sharp contrast. Slow moving, loaded with life forms and cargo, it looked like the perfect target.
Appearances can be deceptive.
The space pirates found this out eventually. They were congratulating themselves on what looked like a sweet haul as they latched onto, then bored into the hull. They caught the ship's staff by surprise and neutralised them with ease.
They were a bit baffled by the cargo.
Books. Activity equipment. Brightly-coloured interlocking shapes. Baffling arrangements of small items, containers, and reams upon reams of low-quality pages bound into bundles.
What was all this for?
The answer came, initially, in a high-pitched shriek and the pitter-patter of little feet dashing away from the crew busy with attempted looting. They had a minute to wonder what the hell that was about before the shrieking returned.
Intensely magnified.
Thousands of small bodies swarmed the pirate crew. Some had toy small, blunted weapons, but that did little to prevent their bludgeoning impact. Many livesuits, made simply to protect against toxic atmospheres, dented or cracked.
Of the unfortunates with cracks in their livesuits, they were quick to discover an inconvenient addition to their escalating misery.
These were neophyte cogniscents. Some were old enough to run and manipulate items, but not old enough to fully control their bowel movements.
Some were incapacitated by the stench alone. Others were rendered immobile by the dents in their suits. Many were simply overwhelmed by the tidal wave of kids all wanting to play Pirates, too.
All of which could have been avoided if they had paused to translate the warning on the hull:
Caution: Children.
[Photo by Robert Ruggiero on Unsplash]
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