What is dark magic? How does it work? The answers might surprise you.
Scene: Sly grinning sorcerer in a strikingly shiny black tophat struts onto the stage. An expectant crowd applauds and sends upbeat vibes.
Magician (waving, grinning): Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! You’re too kind! What you’re about to see is stunningly real! Or not…...Or both? Before we begin, I’d like to introduce my lovely assistant, Storm! She’s the first humanoid AI performer in history! Or is she…..? Come on out, Storm!
An artificially crafted female in a dazzling outfit gracefully makes an entrance.
Magician: Ok, for this trick I need 2 volunteers from the crowd, but they must meet a specific qualification. I need everyone to raise their hands who know that all people are born with equal, natural rights.
About half the crowd raises hands.
Magician: Ok, out of those with their hands raised, if you wish to volunteer, keep your hand up!
Lots of hands drop.
Magician (chuckling): Stage fright shows its ugly head once again! Ok, you sir, with the thinning hair and tight jeans, please come on stage!
Guy looks around awkwardly, points to himself.
Magician: Yes, you! And the rest of you volunteers keep your hands up!
Guy excitedly trots down the aisle and leaps up on the stage.
Magician: Love that enthusiasm! (sarcastic) You know I called you up here to make a complete fool of you, right?
Guy gives forced laugh and wipes sweat from brow.
Magician: What’s your name, brave sir?
Guy: My name’s Barnes.
Magician: Great! A name that provokes imagery of animal captivity is quite fitting for this trick. Ok, one more volunteer! Young, fair lady near the front here, with the tasteful blouse. Yes, you! Please come up!
Cheery-faced twenty-something woman waltzes up the steps.
Magician: What’s your name, brave soul?
Woman: Cassie!
Magician: Thanks for volunteering, Cassie!
Magician turns to face Barnes.
Magician: Barnes! You raised your hand earlier to indicate that you know that all people are born with equal rights. Now I ask, is murder one of those rights?
Crowd gasps.
Barnes (appalled): Certainly not!
Magician (chuckling): I’m sure everyone here is relieved to hear that, Mr. Barnes. Now, it causes me great pain to do this, but I must let you know, for everyone’s safety, that Cassie over there is…...a TERRORIST!
Cassie’s eyes bug out and she laughs it off.
Magician: Yes, she doesn’t look the type, I know. But under that friendly, radiant exterior, is a dark mastermind of terror!
Magician turns abruptly to face Storm.
Magician: Miss Storm, would you kindly use your carefully crafted circuitry to reveal what is behind the black and white checkerboard curtain?
Storm glides across to the curtain, and slowly pulls it back. A large, black, rectangular object is revealed.
Magician: Mr. Barnes, what does that look like to you?
Barnes: Uh, it looks like a big screen TV. Is it a smart TV?
Magician: Yes, Mr. Barnes, it is a top of the line Smart TV, personally vetted and approved by Bill Gates and Kim Jung Un!
Crowd laughs awkwardly.
Magician: Barnes, train your eyes on the TV until I tell you to stop. (turns to face crowd) I need all of you in the audience to look to the back of the seat in front of you, where you’ll find attached a pair of sunglasses. Please put them on.
Audience murmurs quizzically and puts shades on.
Magician: Excellent! (turns to Storm) Miss Storm, activate program!
Miss Storm switches the Smart TV on. Images flicker at a feverish pace for a few seconds.
Magician: That’s enough! Stop! (images on TV stop) Look away now, my good man Barnes.
Barnes turns away.
Magician: Mr. Barnes, how do you feel?
Barnes (foggy eyes): Like a new man.
Magician: Very good, Mr. Barnes. Now, as you know, terrorists are a scourge to civil society. They’re a threat to freedom and security, and must be eliminated accordingly. (pulls out pistol) Mr. Barnes, I’m going to give you this pistol, and you are going to rid the world of that little terrorist over there, code named Cassie. Just to prove this gun is real, I’m going to shoot Storm. Don’t worry, she’s bulletproof.
Magician fires shot, which pops loudly off of Storm's head, and falls harmlessly to the ground. Audience roars with shock and awe. Cassie stammers. Magician hands gun to Barnes.
Magician: Mr. Barnes, I order you to shoot that terrorist Cassie.
Barnes: No, no, I won’t do that. On what authority? (hands gun back to Magician)
Magician: Aw, those magic words! Well played, Mr. Barnes! I’m so happy you asked! Now Barnes, do you see that straight-faced gentleman in the dark suit, just off the stage, a bit in the shadows?
Barnes: Yeah, the one with the bar tan?
Magician (guffaws): Yes, that’s the one. (shouts to dark suited gentleman) He’s onto you Herald! (to Barnes) Now Mr. Barnes, that man Herald, is with the FBI. Go talk to him, Mr. Barnes.
Barnes wanders over to the edge of the stage and is met by Herald. Herald flashes FBI badge.
Herald: Mr. Barnes, listen very carefully. This is an extremely serious matter of national security. That young lady is a high value terror target. She’s had a hand in numerous terror operations around the world. We need you. Your country needs you.
Barnes (sweating): Is this real?
Herald: This is all too real, Mr. Barnes. (hands pistol and badge to Barnes) On my authority, I order you to shoot that terrorist. Do it for freedom. Do it for your way of life. Do it for your family. Don’t let us down, Mr. Barnes.
Barnes gulps, takes deep breath, nods, turns, aims at Cassie, and pulls the trigger. The gun makes a loud pop, and a harmless red flag with big white letters “BANG” pops out. Cassie staggers, pants, wipes her forehead, and breathes a sigh of relief. Audience gasps, trembles, then laughs nervously.
Magician: Ladies and gentleman, if that isn't dark magic, then I don't know what is!
Audience stands and applauds.
Magician walks over to Cassie and motions Barnes to join them.
Magician: Thank you both for playing your roles perfectly for the demonstration. Hats off! (tips tophat, turns to audience) Thank you for coming! (tips hat and bows 6 times)
Thanks for your time and attention!
Just say "NO" to slavery!
Top image is from wikipedia
