It was the last afternoon in a magical week of experiences. I really wanted to smoke some green for the closing ceremony by the mainfloor, but I had run empty over the week. Just a little more for the last hours? I wondered whether the other stoners were out as well but I figured "wondering about it" would not bring me closer to getting any thc into my system ;)
Fortunately I had witnessed some amazing situations take place during the week - helping others was the norm here and I knew somebody in the valley would be happy to sell me some of his stash before their travel home - I also had a bit of cash left so this seemed like a fair proposal - only question is: where do I find a connection now?
I decided to try a method I had picked up during the week, inspired by other people walking around with written signs asking people for lifts, whether "anyone had found their phone" and so on. At a psychedelic festival ideas seem to spread quickly if they are good, and I had been told by many that making a sign or writing on my body would greatly increase the chance of getting what I am after, simply because all the other people can read about your needs from afar and can decide for themselves to take the initiative to act on them, in order to help a fellow human being out ;)
It's non-coercive in that way, as opposed to asking someone directly who may not freely want to give but would feel pressured if asked face-to-face.
So I got a piece of cardboard box from the restaurant, borrowed a permanent marker and wrote a sign to sum up my current psychedelic quest ;)
"Got any green? Wanna buy 1 g"
It seemed better than to aimlessly wander around trying to find some connection, and this week had been different than all the others in my life anyhow, so I figured this crazy idea would probably work. If anywhere, it would work here with all these lovely human beings.
Materialization
I put the sign over my shoulder using one of my shoe laces and tried to forget about it as best I could. I had learnt already that if I focussed too much on what I want, I would probably not get it. And the sign was there to speak for me so I could stop thinking about the mission.
"Building ways for the universe to provide" I thought, and smiled.
I must have danced for a minute only, eyes closed. Someone touched me by the arm, and I opened my eyes: Here was this friendly-looking dude standing right in front of me with a big-ass smile. We both kept dancing and he didn't say a word to me other than that smile which contained so much information that words seemed completely unnecessary.
He nodded towards my arm and moved his arm slightly in my direction. Everything was on autopilot and I witnessed my body acting on its own. I put out my hand and he looked back at my eyes with gratification, his smile getting even wider - he radiated a warm sense of success about the fact that I had picked up on his subtle communications consciously. Before I knew it he had put something in my hand and closed it gently, still smiling at me.
I instantly went for my belly pouch with my other hand to find something to give to him (almost like a reflex) and he just looked at me and shook his head slowly, not saying a word. His smile never left him, but he nodded once more at me in deep respect and care... and then simply danced off.
I was so surprised by how all this had materialized - my mind seemed to be on overdrive: 'Should I go find him again? Should I buy the guy some dinner?' I felt... in his debt somehow.
I opened my hand, looked at it and there it was - the image in my mind had turned into reality right in front of my eyes - here was this huge and beautiful green bud grinning back at me. Way more than what I had been after and of the highest quality too. Wow! I was stoked!
I had this impulse to "at least" buy the guy a cold beer from the bar and to bring it to him on the floor. To "make it up to him somehow" - my mind wouldn't let it go. I almost ran to the bar, just so that I would not lose the guy in the neighborhood I had been dancing in. I came back and - of course - he was nowhere to be seen.
I must have walked around with that beer in my hand for a good twenty minutes before I could finally accept his gift and simply stop the pathologic need to find a way to 'repay him'. The only one insisting on "fair compensation" was me, and the more I looked for him the more it dawned on me that 'paying him' had never been part of our energetic arrangement nor his expectations when he had decided to act on my sign. The obsessive quid-pro-quo attitude was totally misplaced here, and I realized how profoundly my mind had been influenced by all these concepts of conditional sharing I had never made conscious before.
"It really isn't sharing when you expect a trade-off" I mumbled to myself, and some part in me reluctantly agreed, finally seeing the merit of this statement in light of the experience. 'It really is OK to accept a gift, especially such a heartfelt one', I thought. Receiving is as essential as sharing with others. The joy he felt giving seemed more than good enough for him in terms of payment so why wouldn't it be good enough for me?
My mind went one step further: 'Maybe I ought to accept ALL the richness that comes my way instead of actively finding a way to curtail it out of conditioned politeness.'
What a revelation! Insisting on paying him would have made it all wrong somehow.
My ego was still so new to the idea of unconditional sharing that it demanded some kind of compromise after it became clear that I would not find the dude again. And in an instant it all dawned on me - I would simply share what I wanted to share... with someone else! With anyone who would receive it!
I turned around, smiled at a lovely couple dancing right behind me: "Hey my friends, can I offer you a beer? It's still a bit cold and I feel this need to give a gift to someone."
They looked at each other, looked back at me and agreed. "Why don't we all share it?" the guy said taking a grateful gulp of the beer, passing it to his girlfriend who enjoyed it as well and who passed it back to me. We finished that beer in a minute or two and they were really grateful to me - "funny, you came at the perfect time, we were just about to go to the bar. Thanks for that beer!" It felt great, and not for a minute did they consider asking me for compensation or anything. I saw that this 'compensation-mindfuck' must be particulalry engrained in me, and instantly I felt enlightened about this odd aspect of my conditioning.
Pay it forward
My ego was happy too, having paid it forward to SOMEONE. I giggled when I deciphered what was going on here. It didn't really matter who gets the gift as long as the intention of sharing continues freely.
Incidentally, some other dude turned to me with a smile and offered his drinking pouch to me in that very moment: "Would you like some honey whine? Sharing is caring"
And I laughed heartily. His timing was perfect, it's one of those many instances where your inner dialogue and ideas will instantly materialize "out in the world". And it drove the point home endlessly - 'this is a really life-affirming strategy, I think I want to get used to that!'
It seemed like we all got into a sharing mode and spread our abundance to anyone willing to receive, and it catapulted itself to new levels. I frankly didn't think this was possible among "strangers" in 'real life'.
It took me an hour marvelling at these new insights before I even remembered that I had some green in my pocket now. That's right!
I laughed at the fact that I had totally forgotten about the actual gift. This obviously hadn't been about the ganja after all, it had been about making experiences that prove to the ego-mind that sharing and trusting will always pay off for everyone in the long run. And that you never know where a ripple effect of gratitude will end up.
Daring to share whenever you feel you want to share is a great impulse to act upon and can immensely impact other people's lives in unforeseeable ways.
When you feel the impulse to share something with others - DO IT!
Don't hold back <3
-"We're all friends here, but you and me are NOT gonna be friends" | Chapter 3-
-Everyone is Someone's Rolemodel | Chapter 4-
-Feet & Friction | Chapter 5-
-"We can totally handle this" | Chapter 6-
-Cosmic Magnetism & The Fear-Override | Chapter 7-
All images by TrueHumanity @ www.truehumanity.eu