Forgiveness of self, and forgiveness of others that have perhaps wronged us, are the only ways to create a prism into the reality of being a true human: being a human "being", and not just a human "doing", merely reacting against the stressors we all face in this life.
Personally, I spent a lot of my earlier life blaming others for my failures: my parents, my brother, early partners, you name it. My sadness and sense of isolation had nothing to do with "me". I was merely a victim of circumstances. So, I floundered about wearing a huge scarlet "V" on my chest for many years. Oh, I had a lot of fun and more than a few adventures, but I carried with me the voices inside my head that told me I wasn't lovable, I was unworthy, I couldn't change because I was who I am, and the rest of the world can just suck it up. After all, it's all their fault.
Writing this because I just had another really great phone conversation with a lover from HS who just phoned me. Yup, that's a very long time ago, but for some reason we have stayed in touch over the many years. Even got together again when I was 30, but it didn't work. I, at least, was still carrying all the same baggage from HS, and perhaps they was, too. They've been married for many years now, but there has been a strange need I think for both of us to sort out all that old stuff that, in retrospect, scarred both of us, perhaps in different ways.
It is with an open heart today, and gratitude, that my first serious relationship from HS and I have let the "bad stuff" from the past just float up into the universe as lessons learned. That doesn't happen by accident. Forgiveness requires retrospection and self-inspection, and the relief is ethereal. They and I have had lots of phone conversations over the past few years, most of which are attributed to them, but I am free of past recriminations, and I thank them for reaching out to me.
Each of us has a story, but sometimes that story is just inside our own heads. When we hear it from another side, it can be changed, the story can be rewritten into a mutual collaboration that finally has the wisdom to understand, and to even forgive ourselves for our own part in it.