I stare at the screen of my computer, frozen at the sight of the words that you wrote down. I devour each own trying to find meaning to the words, the phrase, the sentence and the paragraphs.
I look up and see your smiling face resting on one hand and a twinkle of a laughter in your eyes.
I wonder how you are doing? I wonder who makes you laugh now.
I remember the very cheery Hey!!!! that you use to start off your message. Then we would talk how our day was as I would tell you what happened to me yesterday and you would tell me about yours that just ended.
You always joked that I am from the future and was sent back to be with you. You always make me smile when you say that.
How often you would ramble on different topics, jumping from one and telling of another without rhyme or reason. It was part of your charm. Your quirkiness that I liked.
You would always complain that you don't go out enough but when I ask you to go, you say you just want to be lazy and not move. Sometimes I think you just want an excuse to stay inside.
We would watch series, we would discuss each scene and tell what we loved and what we hated and we often have to shout jinx as we blurt it the same time.
Sometimes you use me as your sounding board for ideas. You talk of the pros and cons and how you can go one way or the other. I silently listen and just nod as you decide what would be the best course of action.
During late nights we would cradle a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in another as I read to you. I often wonder why you liked being read but you would never answer.
Then the late night readings grew farther. The messages less often. I heard you were going on a business trip and that you would be back soon.
I waited...
Weeks turned to months and now I look back at your words and your smiling face. How are you now? Do you even remember me? That is something difficult when we never used any labels. When we never were sure if we were a "Us"
Here I am left with unresolved feelings and I don't know what to do except drink this coffee and hold your words.