I haven't been able to write for the past week. I'm numb. I don't have any energy. This is draining me. Sucking the life out of me. I spend all of my mental willpower thinking about what has happened. Processing emotions. Consoling loved ones. Hugging strangers. Doing yoga. Breathing.
I haven't been able to get into my daily routines. It's been a challenge to just get back to normalcy. What is normal? I don't even know anymore.
Visiting memorials at local rec centers. Walking around a park and seeing crosses staked into the ground. Angels lit up on stage. Flowers covering pictures of kids. Candles burning down to their wicks. I don't really know what's going to happen moving forward.
Students are marching. They are protesting. They are angry. Rightfully so. I'm angry too. The whole community is angry. We are banding together. I hope this continues.
Tonight is the town hall. I don't know what to expect. It's going to be a madhouse. This is all that I can think about. Nothing else matters anymore. We're going to Washington D.C. on March 24th to March for Our Lives. #NeverAgain. These students have started a movement.
I'm behind them. Today students all across South Florida walked out of their high schools. I drove by a ton of them walking down 441 and started honking my horn to show my support.
What else can I do? I don't even know. I feel so helpless. I want to make change. I want to be there for those who need me. I want to be a beacon of light and hope. I want to inspire others.
This isn't easy. Everybody is grieving. I don't know if what I'm feeling is right or wrong. I'm not sure what I'm doing is right or wrong. I can't return back to life as I knew it. Everything has changed. Yet it's still the same. I'm having a hard time processing all of this. I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore. I just want to do the right thing.