Behold.
Today I shall climb Mt. Elbert.
You can't see Mt. Elbert in this picture because I'm really bad at photography, and I totally missed the whole mountain even though it was basically right there in front of me.
But I'm really good at climbing mountains, so just trust me when I say Mt. Elbert is off to the right outside of the frame.
You really shouldn't be out here, man. Aren't you just recovering from the flu?
Yeah. So?
It could relapse, man! You really want to spend another 4 days cooped up in your apartment with a bad cough and cabin fever?
It won't relapse.
Okay, there's Elbert. Got it that time. It's the one on the left between those two trees. I'll be up there in a jiffy.
Dude, don't go up there. You should be at home resting. Reading a book or something.
I don't know how to read.
Besides, look at this awesome trench some skiers left for me to follow! This is gonna be a breeze.
Well, that trench didn't last long. I guess I'll just have to posthole through this snow all the way up.
No, man. This is it. This is where you should stop and turn around.
But it's such a beautiful day!
It will be way too much work to break trail all the way up! You'll get sick again, man.
Nah. I'm gonna keep climbing. I'm sure the trail will open up.
Wow. Sure wish the trail had opened up. That was way more work than I expected.
But hey, here we are at treeline. And it's only 4pm! I wonder if I should attempt to summit.
Don't even think about it, man!
Why not? It's so pretty. There probably isn't another human on this entire mountain right now.
No dude. Just no.
And based on all the snow getting whipped off the ridge up there, I'd say we're looking at 50mph sustained winds with 70mph gusts. It'll be so much fun!
No! Turn around now. You made it to treeline, that's good enough!
Hmm.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
…
What?
I said you're right. I'm turning around. No sense overdoing it. Besides, if I keep climbing right now it'll be dark by the time I come down, and I might get lost and die out here.
…
Wait.
Wait wait WAIT.
You're going to do something responsible??
Yep.
…
What the FUCK, Brandt.
What do you mean, what the fuck?
This is totally not cool, man! Your adventures never end this way! You turn yourself right around and go climb that goddamn mountain even if it kills you!
Weren't you just telling me I should be careful about the flu relapsing and all that?
I'm just the voice of reason inside your head! It's part of my job description to try and talk some sense into you! If I don't at least do a decent job faking it, I don't get paid!
Oh. Well, you did a good job today. Totally had me fooled.
But I want to go up that mountain! You were supposed to ignore me like you always do! C'mon, man, let's go!
How was I supposed to know you wanted me to keep going?
I don't know! You never listen to me so I didn't think today would be any different!
Nah. I'm wiped out. Time to head back down.
Your flu won't relapse, I swear! You're right, it'll be fun! Let's go!
Maybe I'll get home at a reasonable hour so I can actually have a nice relaxing Sunday evening for once.
GodDAMMIT Brandt!!