Ah my young friend. You just need cryptocurrencies. Like a good grandpa back in the 1800's would teach his youngest plantation owner how to mine bitcoins, let me teach you.
You say it's too hard to mine for coins? Don't like holding that pick axe in the dusty bitcoin mine? No money to purchase those sweet sweet diamond enchanted picks from minebitcoincraft?
You say you would rather eat a hat?
Well no need to eat a hat.
Go to your local online cryptocurrency faucet free bitcoin ...err....place...
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See them bitcoins! They're just sitting there! Waiting for you to pick them up! Look at them. They're right there in the image?
Just like those hot young women always in your area, you too can get them by clicking on the advertisements!
"But" I hear you saying "I only got 0.00000000000000000000000001 bitcoins from the free bitcoin thingy! This takes too long! My electric company thinks I've gone mad trying to pay for my electricity with bitcoins"
Ah yes. Well first turn that electricity off. You won't need it, just use your laptop's remaining 15 minutes of battery life to quickly create a completely legit non-ponzi scheme website to give other people free bitcoins by taking ad money from weird companies!
Many other people do this all the time so it must be legitimate.
Just copy another companies website code and make your own bitcoin faucet filled with a million ads so these weird companies feel completely at home with your new...business.