Continue from previous episode, we continue to try to make sense of what goes on in our political realm now, and hopefully have some fun while answering these depressing questions. If you missed the first episode, please go check it out! Here we go:
Popular issue #4 - How did a reality TV stars become the most powerful man on Earth?
Dad: The kids spoke for themselves and made a smart choice like a smart person. I love them, they are tremendous kids. Did I tell you that I love the uneducated?
Kids: Yes, we sided with you, but look at what you accomplished so far! 64% of the kids already don't like you...
Dad: Fake news kids, I'm the most accomplished man in this house's history.
Mom: Kids, I take full personal responsibility for losing the easiest argument against your Daddy... Except for sexism, that policeman from FBI, Russia hacking (Even though I can't explain how, so I just go with a secretly vague word "collusion"), BLM, the crazy lady Gil who lives on a tree in the backyard, Wikileak for the email that I wrote, and most importantly, fucking all of you kids. You are supposed to back me up! I deserve it after cooking for this family for the last 40 years, can't you just give me this one like a participation trophy?
Kids: But Mom you weren't all there, you didn't make sense and didn't listen to us. You two have been sitting on our back since we grow up!
Mom: Look who the fuck's talking? Bitch you owe me! Don't ask what your country can do for you, ask yourself what you can do for your country! Now pin your tail between your legs and fall in line already. We are a family, we need to united... I love you kids so much, I'm so proud.
Kids: But Mom... You used to be a man... Like Daddy...
Mom: Shut the hell up before you disappear from this family! I don't need you to remind me that I used to roll like Daddy! Yes I have a sex change, but I choose to look at it positively, I know how both side think. And you know what, fuck this, I don't give a fuck about how you think, and this is my hormone talking, are you going to be a sexist and say something about this?
Kids: Objective criticism about how you do things is sexist?
Mom: Anything negative on me is sexist.
Some kids blame their Moms, while others still think she is infallible and can do no wrong after she did everything wrong.
Popular issue #5 - Cut tax to help the economics
Dad: This house has too many rules, we imposed this on ourselves and we are bringing in less money than we should. This house should have cut down most of these rules, especially for the top earner, so we bring in more dollars! A tips for you kids, it takes money to make money, believe me.
Mom: No! These rules are for the upkeep of the house! do you want the stair to fall down? Do you want no fireman to show up when the house is on fire?
Dad: If we get rid of the upkeep, we will have so much more cash flow. In a way, we will win so much that we will be tired of winning, believe me. And I'm the man of the house, I'm proposing this and that's the end of the discussion.
Kids: But Daddy... This is called voodoo way to do economics, it never trickle down like you stated, not for the last 40 years.
Dad: How dare you listen to the fake news and question our greatest mortal ever lived in this country? Saint Reagan is never wrong, and Jesus will prove this when he comes back! And you won't get to party with him because you doubted our lord!
All the kids are either angry, or confused. They are confused because math is so hard, they used their imagination to solve it instead, imagination like they earn as much as Dad.
Popular issue #6 - Gun control
Dad: The 2nd Amendment is the most sacred thing in the Constitution, it stands for freedom.
Mom: But we need reasonable background check so the mentally ill people won't be able to get a gun.
Dad: I don't think I like your tongue, honey. If a mentally ill person wants a gun, he should be able to get it.
Mom: How many more mass shooting do we need in the country before we can pass some laws to stop this.
Dad: That's the cost of freedom, freedom is not free! This is why our patriots do open carry in restaurants and mall, it is to exercise the 2nd Amendment, and if you don't like the way it sounds, consider it community patrol, you are welcome.
Mom: OK, well I guess you have thought this out, just be careful.
Dog: One of your kids just shoot another one of your kids in the living room with your gun you bought online with the fake ID.
Mom: Let me see... Oh just one? Bitch please, let me know when there is more than 20 dead. Remember Sandy? Your Dad is now setting a minimum victim counts before he will even listen. I can't just do something myself, we are a family and need to reach a bipartisan agreement. Meanwhile let me use some eye drop and cry a bit in front of the children so they feel closer to me. Between your father and I, one of us got to at least pretend to have some empathy.
All the kids feel hopeful in Mom since she uncontrollably cry in front of the family, then go back to watching their TV shows.
To be continued.