The new season of this show is absolutely incredible. I can't believe the quality of the production value. But here's the thing. Getting dumped is fucking hard. My roommate has been out of town for the last few days and so when my dog, who usually spends his time rotating between sleeping with his nose up his own buttonhole and cuddling with my female roommate, kept coming up to me and staring urgently into my eyes while squealing, I thought he was just sad his sleeping companion was gone.
This is my dog in the arms of my roommate.
He eats when I get him food, and he goes out and pees when I take him out. And yet he still runs down the hall and claws at her door. I could try, feebly to make the argument that dogs can’t communicate through emotional looks, but he’s just so obviously trying to tell me something.
And yet.
It’s 3am.
And I’m 8 episodes in a row into the new season of ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK.
And dammit, I already fed him!
This new season is incredible. It’s a GUTTING spotlight on the current state of the privatized prison system. It's a STUNNING revelation about the struggle of the modern woman, and the pain that we cause each other. It's a NEVER BEEN TOLD look at women of color, not only inside the system, but out.
And I wish. I wish I was qualified as a journalist to capture my profound appreciation for the recent wave of incredible content that has been churned out dealing with the topic of minorities, the suppresion of blacks, and our FUCKED UP prison system... but I'm not. What I can say is that documentaries like THE 13TH and LA92 along with shows like ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK at least make an effort to show people how it really is, and it's effective. It's effective as shit.
And yet here I am. The Jim Beam is gone. The Crown is gone. I'm sitting here mixing 4th of July themed SVEDKA with Pamplemousse flavored La Croix and binge watching yet another Emmy-worthy Netflix show. I'm trying to work. Trying to focus on anything but being sad, and even while being drawn into compelling, relevant drama, I can't help feeling like a huge part of me is missing.
I got dumped. And my roommate is out of town.
Look at him curled up in that blanket.
And here is my dog, sitting on my lap, staring at me. The treats didn't satiate. The bacon didn't seem to satisfy.
And then he licked the side of my cocktail and it clicked. He's fucking thirsty. On the TV screen their negotiating for better living conditions, and more humane treatment of inmates, but then I realized... I can't remember the last time I filled my dog's water bowl.
I race to the kitchen. Grab his bowl and fill it to the brim. As soon as I set it down, he dives in. Lapping and lapping up the fresh, cool water to quench his thirst.
And it's hard not to feel ashamed. This little guy doesn't care that I'm sad. He doesn't care that I've run another woman off because we want different things out of life. He just wants a little water to lap up, and a warm blanket to lay under.
Just like the inmates on ORANGE. Their demands are not for a chopper to get away, or a dirty bomb, or the rescue of some related accused terrorist from GitMo.
And how ironic...
I love my [now]ex. We were incredible together. And I am going to miss her with every part of my heart.
But I want to put all I have into my career: Making movies, traveling, helping my clients. And she wants a family, i.e. children to raise, and nurture; teach and take care of. Those two just don't seem to mix. And I understand why she had to leave.
And here I am, watching a mixed breed weasel (for all intents and purposes) I found on the street combined with a dachshund lap up water like he hasn't had a drink in days and it's obvious.
I made the right decision.
Clearly.
Clearly I am not the "right guy for the job" when it comes to the kids.
I'm more concerned about the dramatic arc of the characters. The incredible yet simple cinematography. The ebb and flow of high conflict and subtly poignant resolution. The show.
See the drama? See the political message in their eyes?
My dog is fine... obviously. I wouldn't be posting here if he wasn't any more than just grumpy about his situation.
And this AMAZING show will no doubt win another Emmy or 12. But I'm sharing tonight to talk about hurt.
How it can change your priorities.
My mother randomly texted me tonight asking me how I was. When I responded that I had recently been dumped, her response was: "I'm so very sorry -I am so sad that you don't have someone -as I know that makes you very energized."
And she's right. I draw value and energy from the people that love me. But I'm not alone. And there are people that have it WAY worse than I do. I have friends. I have clients. I have producing partners. But even more, I'm not in a prison system that cares more about saving a buck than it does rehabilitating it's inmates.
And THAT is what I love about the entertainment industry. We get to tell stories that affect people. We get to make social commentary, and try and "speak truth to power" or whatever cliche fits best.
Even when we're sad.
This show is brilliant. It only takes seeing a few minutes of this interview from the Daily Show and Selinas Leyva to understand the unheard voices this show brings a mic to: CLICK THIS LINK to understand it's impact.
I'll meet someone else. And my roommate will come home, and my dog will go back to drinking her farts. But I can focus on this. I can use this energy to make something incredible. I have to.
Thank you for listening.
-beans