It has been a year or two since I've last bothered with matters of courtship. The gravity of cryptocurrency is just too strong. But much to my surprise, she had a comprehensive handle on the nuances of blockchain technology! Check, baby, check. I prodded further as we sunk into the pre-mating ritual of getting to know each other.
A non-religious meta-nihilist like me? Check.
Speaks three languages or more? Check.
Flirts with me without reservation? Check.
Independent with emotional maturity? Check.
Doesn't spend 30 minutes taking pictures of her food during our outing? Check.
Wow, wow, wow. I pinched my face about 12 times throughout the night. Satoshi must be smiling from above. Was I dreaming? I really lucked out on my first date after so long. Maybe it's my accumulated karma over years of dry humping the keyboard for coins.
Anyway, it was a great night with good music, sweet wine, and otherworldly conversation. But holy crap, I realised that she actually looked almost like someone in my social circle when she stared at me, asking if I wanna Netflix and chill under the moonlight. No freaking way miss! Unless we elope to Antarctica or somewhere remote enough to shield me from pitchforks and awkwardness. So I had think with my brain and pull the plug on this rare unicorn. She had to go into friend-zone territory right away. What a waste.
Now that I think about it, I should have just gone ahead with the late night invite and say that it's not gonna work out the day after lol. But emotional attachment be damned. By the way, sorry if you're reading this. You just happened to look like my best friend's wife.