Fear Not!
For I think I finally have this blogging stuff figured out.
Rather than spiraling out of control and eventually going completely bonkers, yours truly, @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself, am making the conscious decision to look deep within myself and hopefully come to a few conclusions that lead to some positive changes around here.
Now, I've been thinking about this all day and I firmly believe I have it all figured out.
With these Seven Lucky Steps, I'm certain I shall be able to produce solid content the whole world wants to see and at the same time:
Get My Ass on the Trending Page
Forever!
Let's begin.
No more ranting.
EVEN THOUGH IT'S HONEST AND ENTERTAINING, EVERY TIME I GET ALL FIRED UP, PEOPLE THINK I'M CRAZY! THEN I LOSE SUPPORT AND HAVE ANOTHER REASON TO FREAK OUT BUT I HAVE TO BITE MY TONGUE AND BE A GOOD BOY! MODEL CITIZEN! AND IF YOU EVER MEET ME IN PUBLIC, I'LL BE THE SAME SMILING FACE GOODY TWO-SHOES YOU EXPECT OUT OF ME BECAUSE THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE HUMAN AND THE PUBLIC FIGURE PERSONA! DO YOU UNDERSTAND! JUST SAY YES AND TAKE IT UP THE ASS! THAT'S MY NEW MOTTO! MAKE IT YOURS!No more calling out bullshit.
If someone decides to set up a pyramid scheme on the trending page, these people are on their own, I won't say a word. Finding out the hard way is probably the best way to learn anyway. Besides, it's not every day an evildoer will politely introduce themselves while including their name and photograph to go along with their plans. It'll be far more entertaining watching them get caught and become someones bitch in prison. Good luck!No more being smart.
What happens is: I'm running a blog where I act like an idiot. It's quite successful and requires a lot of skill to achieve. If I let people know I'm not actually an idiot, they might have trouble believing I'm an idiot, and that could harm my brand.No more telling minnows to fend for themselves.
When I started here, as a minnow, I had to fend for myself. I had to work hard and deal with going unnoticed for a very long time before things started to pick up. Nobody wants to hear about how it took nearly two years and a lot of work to get where I'm at. It's better to act like one of those good parents who tells their kid who can't sing that they are the best singer in the world just so they don't have to listen to crying.No more talking about the problems I see.
I'll leave that up to the people who either don't make any money here, or the one's who get paid good to say what people want to hear, when they want to hear it.No more taking verbal dumps on sycophants.
A comment is a comment. If my wonderful information, perfect opinions, super funny to the point of hysteria humor, and best art in the history of the world truly is so great; whatever, fine, I'll just agree.No more
fuckingswearing.
Though I do possess an extensive repository of sesquipedalian prose within my thinker, I don't often utilize those words when I'm feeling loquacious. I also prefer my writings to be simpler for those who do not speak English as their first language. If I oversimplify, plus add curse words, smart people will think I'm of below average intelligence. That's not good for business. Smart people don't like those kind of people. One of the easiest ways to outsmart those smart people is to simply avoid using foul language, so that's what I'll do; then I can make more friends.
I seriously think that's going to help.
Seriously.
Wish me luck, everyone!
Even though this all sounds sarcastic as fuck and I already failed step seven, I truly believe, with enough willpower and your steady stream of encouraging words (That part is serious. Thanks for being there for me. I'm not perfect, you folks don't seem to mind; and when I'm down in the dumps, many of you come to try and pull me out. Take a bow, give yourselves a good pat on the back, all that fun stuff. Thank you.), I should be able to pull out of this mess and come out on top.
I can do this!
Have a nice day.
