Last time we looked at the original monochrome wonder, Nintendo's classic Game Boy. But not everybody's parents would buy them a Game Boy back in the 80s and 90s. I was one such kid, doomed to be the only one on the playground without a GB.
What I had instead was a graphing calculator. My dad was very eager to prepare me for the SAT from a young age. Consequently I had a TI (Texas Instruments) 83 and the Windows software necessary to sync it to a computer. Ostensibly this was to download academic programs and upload backups of stored results.
What I used it for instead was gaming. Even then there existed online repositories of monochrome, low resolution videogames written specifically for Texas Instruments graphing calculators. Most of which sucked (Drug Warz, looking at you) but some of which were astonishingly good for the platform.
For example, here's a quick look at Zelda for the TI-83 using sprite art ripped from the Gameboy Zeldas:
It was its own original game however, with a unique overworld and all new dungeons. Don't be too impressed though, very few games looked so good. Penguins, by Bill Nagel, is a more representative example of the higher end of TI-83 game sophistication:
It was quite popular and got passed around a good deal once I reached middle school, where at last I was no longer the only one with a TI-83. My classmates, none of them having heard prior to that point that graphing calculators could run games, regarded me as a genius wizard for being able to transfer games like Mario83 to their calculators from my own via link cable:
Like every other platform ever to exist, it had a port of Tetris. I used to have one of those LCD game wristwatches that would play Tetris, the only game that actually translates pretty well to that limited format since it's all just blocks anyways:
The other game that's been ported to every possible platform is Doom. What, Doom? On a platform less powerful than the original Gameboy? Somehow they did it. Although the engine is much simpler it's still recognizably Doom:
Gemini is another 3D-ish game running on the TI-83, this time with impressive texture mapped walls. Still only about as advanced as Wolfenstein 3D, but that's a big accomplishment for such a simple machine:
Games got really remarkably complex. You wouldn't expect an in-depth RPG on a damned calculator of all things, but there were several, "Desolate" being among the best:
Are there demos? Of course there are. You bet your sweet 8-bit ass there are demos for this bad boy. For instance, "Two by Two", by Noice. Similar effects as seen on Gameboy, albeit understandably a bit chunkier:
The same artist also made this fine demo, "Monochromatic". Appropriately named for a system which couldn't even do true greyscale and had to fake it by alternating pixels between clear and black at different frequencies:
This 3D engine demo is running on a TI-84 plus, where most of the focus has been on the TI-83, but can't be left out as it features flat shaded polygonal graphics. It looks to be a take off on Elite:
Though my heart will always belong to the humble little TI-83, (while shunning the inferior, stunted TI-82) it must be admitted that later graphing calculators boasted far superior graphical capabilities. Just look at Mario on the TI-89 and compare it to what you've seen up until this point:
Predictably, the TI-89 (basically a shrunk down version of the beastly, Game Gear sized TI-92) was also much better at 3D. Take a look at Counterstrike (still running on a Wolf3D style engine but looking much nicer):
Then we've got Kirby's Dreamland. Since the TI-89 actually exceeds the resolution of the Gameboy (where the 83 fell short) it became more popular than ever to rip graphical assets from Gameboy titles, then craft new singleplayer campaigns for them:
Prince of Persia works pretty well on this platform. If you can't already tell, the 89 was a huge improvement from the 83 and basically as good as it got before those color backlit graphing calculators began hitting the market. That takes away all the charm if you ask me:
Can't be without Metroid. How would you play this on the blurry TI-89 screen? No better or worse than it was on the original Gameboy screen. Like all the others, no sound, as there wasn't any sound chip. That didn't stop some devs from implementing support for sound running on the main 8 bit processor and outputting it through the link cable port, which would fit some headphones:
More primitive 3D graphics. It wasn't until the Handspring Visor that we'd next see filled polygonal graphics on a portable device. That amatuer devs managed it on a graphing calculator from the late 80s should inspire you:
King of Fighters? Really? Yes, really. Ported from (I believe?) the Neo Geo Pocket (non-color version) or the Wonder Swan (again, the non-color one. Both had monochrome versions first). The sprite art looks great here:
Some of these really looked rather good and probably launched the careers of many students who would later go into the mobile game industry once smartphones blew up. Air Mission wouldn't look out of place on an old java handset, if colorized:
We were downloading and trading apps on handheld devices long before that, however. In some ways graphing calculators were a progenitor of the modern smartphone culture and app marketplaces. We could directly trade apps back then, something you can't (easily) do with smartphones, and all the content was free!
That was the real draw. No sound, poor graphics in general, blurry unlit screen...but free games! As many as you wanted! Half the fun was discovering new gems, then using the link cable to share them with your buddies on the playground or in the hall. I'm somewhat surprised Texas Instruments never looked at the underground game culture that sprang up around these calculators and said "hey, we should make a proper gaming handheld."
I'd have bought it. But then again there's very little gaming crap I haven't bought over the years. If you'd like to check out what games are available for your own graphing calculator, I recommend you visit TiCalc.org and Omnimaga. That's all for this time! Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of whatever article this is!
Stay Cozy!