If you try to put a cat into an open box in a corner of a room, it will hiss and scratch and fight you all the way. When you get it into the box, it will do its best to jump right out. It will fight and escape time after time. However if you just leave the cat alone in the room, (...) before too long it will probably climb into the box and settle there.
- Zen Golf
Dr Joseph Parent, author of the amazing book Zen Golf uses the above analogy to describe the pattern of negative thoughts when preparing to play a stroke in the game of golf.
A golf swing is a complex biomechanical action, it requires you to coordinate almost every single muscle in your body in perfect sync, in order to send the ball to its target.
While you do this, you must remain calm and keep negative thoughts out of your mind. However as we have discussed in Don't Think Of A Monkey, trying not to think about something is incredibly difficult.
The harder you try not to think about something, the more easily that very thing will take a hold and hijack your entire thought process. In other words, that thought will become like the cat you are trying to force into the box.
So the question is; how exactly do we leave this biting, scratching, spitting thought to just settle down into the box, so that we can gently close it and walk away?
Metacognition The Path To Observational Thinking
There are many definitions, and indeed branches of metacognition, however here we shall explore just the one kind.
Ultimately metacognition simply means; thinking about thinking. Another way we can view this is reflecting on your own thoughts.
We do this almost everyday quite naturally and reflexively, however we don't always notice when we are doing it.
For instance, I'm sure you have had the experience when you're going about your daily business, to suddenly be thinking of a random song that just pops into your head. You find yourself singing it, or humming it lightly to yourself and then you suddenly ask yourself; Why am I thinking of that?
This is a form of metacognition, you are essentially analysing your own thoughts. Now the answer could be because you heard it as a car drove past with its radio playing loudly or any one of a myriad of reasons, but that's not the point.
The point is it was a thought going round and round in your head, which you were vaguely aware of, until you shone your attention onto it and became more acutely aware.
This is an important skill to have, and like any skill you can develop it to your advantage.
I Think I Think, Therefore I am
Have you ever just got up out of bed and instantly been in a bad mood; and no matter what you do you can't shake it?
We have an expression for that in the UK, I'm sure other cultures have different ones; we call it getting out of of bed the wrong side.
However in truth it has nothing to do with which side of the bed you get out of, it is more to do with a thought or thoughts that are troubling you, most likely triggered from a dream, or something you were thinking about just before going to sleep.
These thoughts are an insidious danger, because unlike the benevolent song that rattles around your head, they can hide between your normal everyday thoughts.
Hidden thoughts of this type are the kind that lead to self-doubt, the ones that quietly tell you to just give up the task you have been struggling with. Then when they finally become loud enough for you to hear, they become like the cat you try to force into the box.
Taming The Cat
In order to become skilled at just letting these negative thoughts go away of their own accord, you need to learn how to look at them objectively. As if you were a casual observer, not actually connected to them in any way, shape or form.
As ever we will use meditation to do this, and a very specific kind of mindfulness.
First of all put yourself into the meditative trance by sitting somewhere quietly and comfortably.
Keep your eyes open, focus either on the floor roughly 6-8 feet in front of you, or if you're outside, focus on the middle distance.
Concentrate on your breathing, do not try and control it by making it any deeper than you naturally breathe. Simply observe the air flowing in and out of your lungs.
After you have done this for some seconds (if you get distracted, calmly bring your attention back to your breathing), commit to doing a definite action in the next three seconds.
So you may be sitting in your kitchen or living room, and you say to yourself; in the next three seconds I will go to the fridge and get a drink of water.
Or perhaps you will commit to stretching or adjusting your seating position.
Then count down the seconds:
3 . . 2 . . 1
However when you get to this point, don't actually do the action you have committed to.
Instead, observe yourself almost doing the action ...
Afterwards go back to observing your own breathing without controlling it.
Then play around with taking control of your breathing and switching back to autopilot. Do this as many times as you can, and observe the difference between conscious and subconscious breathing.
Practice Makes Meta Perfect
This kind of inward observation will train your mind to more naturally think about your thinking. You will find yourself asking the question much more; why am I thinking that?
In turn that will help you observe thoughts without getting involved in them, like watching leaves flow by on a meandering river. So too can you watch your thoughts flow through your mind, without once allowing them to effect you.
Before long, the cat will simply get into the box, and you can close it and get on with whatever it is you need to do.
WHAT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH? DO YOU ALREADY HAVE COPING TECHNIQUES? HAVE YOU HEARD OF OR TRIED METACOGNITION BEFORE? AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!
Further reading:
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf series:
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Becoming The Fourth Cup
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Don't Think Of A Monkey: Overcoming Your Fears
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - How Big Is Your Mind?
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Cutting Out The Anyways
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Body Fake It Till You Mentally Make It
Title image: Philippe Gagné on Unsplash