Loving the Way they Need it,

"Do not do unto others, what you do not want others to do unto you"

That's the most popular version of the Golden from Confucius, it has also another version from the Great Prophet Muhammad and Buddha.

Whomever the version is, most of us are familiarwith this Univerl Principle, because it is a rule of life, whatever the beliefs and wherever we may be, this truth is timeless.

But are you familiar with thr "Platinum Rule"? It is like this, "LOVE OTHERS, NOT THE WAY YOU LIKE IT, BUT THE WAY THEY NEED IT"

Let say you are in a party, most of your friends are on the dance floor and you saw two of them were just standing on one side of the room, so what you did is you pull them to the center of the dance floor for them not to feel out of place,

At first glance, what you did is right, because you love them and you want them to feel out of place, and you feel that's the Golden Rule, What you do not know is they are not bad or out of olace by just standing there, that truth is they are not into dancing and they are enjoying chatting with each other while watching their frienda on the dance floor.

Even your intentions are good and from your heart, that is not enough, because you followed your standards and not theirs, the good deed that you've done to them is not really what they need and want.

You're like a friend who prepares your favorite steak for. Your vegetarian friends, who will visit you.
Or a friend who greeted a friend on facebook congratulations on her pregnancy only to find out that she's just fat.
Or the legend story about the monkey who saved the fish that the monkey thought was drowning, but the truth is the fish is enjoying the water and it was swimming happily,

Golden rule and Platinum Rule are not contradicting rules, Maybe we can say that Platinum Rule was from Golden Rule which just emphasizing more on recognizing ones right and feeling.

Invest in a relationship, Get to know everyone near you, know their wants and their likes, or their stories and experiences. Fron there you will know your differences and also from there you will know what they really need and by that you will be able to love them the way they want it.

If you are a parent, it is natural that you have a lot of advices for your kids, but you made it too much, thinking that, that's what they need. Two things might happen because of that.

First, because it is rare that you listen to them, they don't know how to express themselves, Second, because you're always telling them what to do, they will grow up with low self steem,

If you are in a relationship, for you to know, what will make your partner really happy, invest sometime to get to know more about your partner and know what will make your partner happy,

It is impossible that when you love a person you are not afraid to invest sometime getting to know them.