Allocate some time for the retrospection of your life, there are not always the jolly times and happy moments that you want to cherish for the rest of your life, like your good college trip or happy family get-togethers or moments with your loved ones. If you look closely enough, there are some moments that you want to trap in a can, seal it closed and toss it into the sea to be forgotten forever.
Like the symbol of Confucianism pretty much sums up our life, we all should adhere to the fact that such our life is not always going to be the way we want it to be. It takes sharp turns, changes routes, leads us to oblivion and has us meet the weirdest characters. There is no one universal way of dealing such unexpected and unwanted happenings in our life.
The one mantra that you should guide yourself by can be "Happiness will not come to you; it can only come from you." The other day I was wondering if we become exactly as happy as we want to be and I was shaking because that was exactly was happening to me to date. As happiness is an abstract thing and everyone has their own meaning to it, it is totally upon you whether to take an event by looking at its bright side or its dark side as it is bound to have both.
That's sometimes the way life teaches you some very important lessons of our life. It may not be ideal way you wanted to learn that lesson; however, the wisest thing is to do is to internalize the learning from such events. People say it is easier said than done when it comes to life lessons, but I have listed some major ways in which we can deal in our lows.
Rule # 1: Acceptance over Denial
As defined by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, we go through five stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance while dealing with any tragic event in our life. Sometimes we take too much time in the earlier stage that we never reach the state of acceptance.
We should know that the acceptance is the beginning point of salvation. Only when we accept our situation, we can craft out the meaningful solutions to our situations. It makes us aware of the future circumstances and also provides us a purposeful guidance to the desirable situation.
Rule #2: Fake It Till You Feel It
Obviously, we are the prisoner of our own heart and soul. All our actions are either conscious or unconscious outcomes of the command of these masters. But even an astute person has to behave the way his/her surrounding compels sometime or the other. Thus, surround yourself with a happy environment, have plenty of laughter around you, try to enjoy the bliss that nature and God has provided you.
You can tame your heart to feel what you actually want to feel, until you reach to a point where you feel what you actually want to feel. Thus like a pro, "Fake it till you feel it".
Rule #3: Set Achievable Targets
One tried and tested technique to excel is to push ourselves just a little bit beyond our comfort zone. When you set achievable yet challenging goals for yourself each day, each day becomes a new benchmark for you, and thus you work a bit harder the next day. This keeps your mind occupied and all the negative vibes in your mind gets zoned out. This substantially helps in dealing while you are at the lows of your life.
Rule #4: Engage Yourself
At the very beginning our schooling, we have been taught that an idle mind is devil’s workplace. Researchers have shown than an average person can have around 60 thousand thoughts per day and even more interesting thing is that around 80 percent of those thoughts are negative. Escaping the darker side completely is near to impossible, however, you can rule out such thoughts to a great extent through an active mental and physical life. Just add up a bit of meditation in your routine, and make it regular. Also, a little physical exercise or yoga can be of a great help while you’re trying to battle your lows. You can add up happiness in your life just by reviewing your daily routine a little bit. Just stimulate your mental and physical health and keep it active.
Rule #5: Take a Break
When you are frustrated with the chaos of your daily schedule and same old hectic workload, perhaps that’s not what you’re meant to do in life.
Take a break for a while, plan yourself an outing or a vacation or just some quality time with the loved ones. It will help to rediscover what you really want to do in your life and how you want to take it further. Such sessions are so important that it can even contribute in reviewing your life aims and long-term goals. Like the one in F.R.I.E.N.D.S., when Chandler leaves his job to discover what he really wants to do and enjoys his job. Thus, if you’re having similar problem you may want to consider taking a break, which might alter your life.
Rule #6: Be Optimistic
50 percent of our problems are immediately solved if we have a positive attitude and work towards the attainment of the desirable circumstances. Optimism can show how great something can be if it is accomplished in the best possible way. As positive force attracts positive actions, it sows happiness and hope in the life. And as the popular fact, the more you sow, the more you reap. Thus it helps a great deal to paint our lives with happiness.
Rule #7: Let Go
Holding on to the impossible is the main reason why we cause ourselves a lot of pain. Like the relationships that are not meant to be. Not moving on in life will not block all the other opportunities and possibilities in life.
So once you discover that you cannot work anything out anymore, the sanest decision is to let go, concentrate on your happiness and move on to explore what life holds for you next.
Rule #8: Positive Nostalgia
Sometimes when nothing seems to make sense, just open an old photo album and drool on the wonderful moments you have had in the past. It gives you a chance to relive the moment and a new energy to live the life in a way you’ve always wanted. Further, it also gives you a chance to realize what you are going through now is going to stay as a vivid memory in your future and your low mood now is not going to be a happy moment in the future as well.
Try to create a jolly moment that is going to be worth remembering in the future as well.
Rule #9: Maintain Relationships
Investing in stable and smooth relationships enable you to live a happy and healthy life. Thus, one should maintain a sound relationship with family, friends, co-workers, and should also opt for compatible partners. The initial way is to start right by understanding each other and working together to strengthen the relationship. Forgiving and forgetting still remains a key point to keep your relationship healthy.
To be happy, maintain your key relationships.
Rule #10: Take Action
Determination is a very strong weapon. When you are determined to remain happy and battle the lows of your life, you should be bold enough to take actions to work towards that bright end you’ve imagined for yourself. Find out the factors that make you happy and work accordingly. It will obviously enrich your inner soul with happiness. Thus you can easily take control of the unwanted situations of the life and be happy.
Finally, open your soul to the sunshine of happiness. Have an open mind and always stay in a position to rule out the sadness and give a huge hug to even the smallest happiness into your life.
Have a beautiful day!
Disclaimer
All images uploaded here are individual work of the original authors as listed in pixabay.com, obtained and used under CC0 license.