This is something I get asked all the time by clients. Seriously, I mean ALL THE TIME. It’s the most common question I get from women, especially.
And it’s not just a question, it is a concern powered by intense fear of judgment and backlash - everyone wants to look fit, but not TOO fit. It seems as though being muscular and also feminine are mutually exclusive in the minds of most women.
I have to have this conversation with basically every female client I work with to start to dispel the rumors and do away with the incorrect information they’ve been fed through traditional media outlets and hearsay for their entire lives.
I’ve even had clients inadvertently look me up and down as they ask me about it, obviously concerned that if they do anything more than endless cardio that they’ll all of a sudden wake up one day with a body like mine, heaven forbid!
I’m just teasing, I love my body. And I consider myself to be very feminine. Although I don’t compete in fitness competitions on stage or bodybuild for the sake of aesthetics, my muscular physique was built as a by-product of many years of participation in elite-level athletics and living a lifestyle that supports performance and body adaptation for the specific goal of success in sport, so I know what it takes.
Did it happen fast? No. Was it easy? Hell no.
But I have more muscles than most women, and probably more than many women want, and that’s ok with me. Every person’s goals are different, and I respect that. Just trying to provide a little reality here about the muscle gain misconception.
It’s true though that most female models, even those labeled “fitness models,” are pretty slender, streamlined, and not overly shredded. I get it. The ideal body type in American culture isn’t necessarily a healthy, ripped, athletic-looking lady.
The skinny, long-and-slim types are still on magazine covers, selling clothes, and telling you how you should try to look in order to be accepted. Beauty standards in our society have definitely changed and relaxed a little over the past few years, but old opinions die hard!
So what does “bulky” mean, exactly? By asking that same question of so many clients over the years, I’ve realized that when they use that term they mean that being lean is ok, and so is being chiseled and cut, as long as you don’t look too “big” or “manly.”
It’s makes me a little sad that a strong body could ever be the cause of shame for women, and not the badge of honor and source of pride that I find it to be. I could go on about that for awhile, but I digress…
What I’m saying is, I wish it was more commonly known that it’s just not that easy to put on muscle. The fact that so many people believe it’s just going to “happen” to them by doing a little bit of training, although nobody means it that way, is actually borderline insulting to the work ethic and intelligence of much of the fitness community.
People spend literally YEARS working their asses off, controlling every detail of their exercise regimen and nutrition tirelessly for just a few measly pounds of muscle. So for the general exerciser, thinking that any fluctuations we see on the scale are due to muscle gain is hardly ever the case - water, diet, and sleep are almost always the true culprits.
Are you going to start a strength training program, snap your fingers, and instantly look like a bodybuilder overnight? Probably not. I hate to be the bearer of bad news if that’s what you actually want, but pursuing fitness without tailoring your workouts and nutrition to the specific goal of gaining muscle mass will generally not produce the effect of looking “bulky” in the way that is so widely feared by so many women, and desired by so many men. Sorry dudes, but the same goes for you - if you want to, you will get there. But it’s not going to be easy and it’s NOT going to be an accident!
For general fitness clients who just want to rock the shit out of a little black dress or feel great in board shorts at the beach, I promise that lifting weights will help you get that bangin’ bod you’ve always wanted - lean, firm, balanced.
But no, doing some curls will not make your biceps immediately explode through your shirt, and doing that set of squats last week did not make your quads noticeably bigger.
If anything, even strength-based exercise usually makes people appear SMALLER as they burn fat and reveal the muscle they already have, which is much more compact pound-for-pound.
So here’s a little tough love for the takeaway: unless you’re actively trying to, you’re just not putting on muscle that fast. It’s most likely all in your head. Don’t freak out.
And what’s so bad about having a little extra muscle mass anyway? I don’t mean you have to be a huge rippling ball of steel or anything - having even a little more muscle on your frame means you burn more calories at rest (bonus!!), adds attractive contours to your body, and allows you to do more activities for longer as you get older. You’ll be more capable, healthier, more shapely, and age more gracefully - what’s not to love?
Got some questions? Fire away!
And please feel free to comment, upvote or resteem if you like :)