I am getting tired of writing, I just want to stop and rest eternally because of all my medical predicaments. They are all scaring me and time is apparently, or obviously not on my side.
It is hard to get up and sit around on my bed much less to walk. It is a real deathly struggle to bath myself in the toilet and I am just using the wheelchair with the support of my two aging parents so I I am causing my folks with trouble they do not deserve. They should just be enjoying their old age but with me around they share the misery that I am passing through with no clear indications that I would surpass this mountain of medical maladies.
I do like writing but my persistence although paying up is just trickling inch by inch and with this pace I think my goals will outlive me. At least maybe I have tried and I pray that God will take my spirit because of the pain in my body and the vision of my eyes that is failing as I write this blog post.
My desire to last a little bit more and my longing to die is equal and both I would happily accept if either would be given to me. But it is really hard to live in pain and having a difficulty in breathing and failing health with not much support from my family.
I did prayed to die in the past but wanted to get born in another family. It is a silly thing that I thought about because of the failing of my relatives, friends, and family to help me in this medical mess.
But my friends here at steemit is patching those needs up and I thank them for that and hope that God would repay their kindness to me. I appreciate it all with every bit of good words, thoughts, and kindness. Nothing that I could say but God bless and keep you all.