Co-sleeping
In western society we have been told time and time again that sleeping beside our babies is beyond bad parenting and potentially life threatening due to the risk of accidentally suffocating our child.
This propaganda has led to countless babies being separated from their Mothers during in sleep hours and countless Mothers denying their natural maternal instinct out of fear they could cause their child to become a victim of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
In truth it appears that not only is a Mother sleeping beside her baby beneficial to for the brain development of the infant but on the contrary to what we are told, can dramatically help prevent cases of SIDS.
I understand the issue of co-sleeping or getting our babies to sleep in solitary with regards to the potential risks and benefits is both a sensitive issue for parents who have lost children to SIDS, and a huge area of concern for those who want what is best for their babies health and development in the long run.
My own parents unfortunately lost a baby girl to SIDS a few years before I was born.
Now I am married and have a 4 month old boy, and with my wife being from Indonesia where co-sleeping and a generally more attached approach to parenting is the norm, the matter of where our baby should sleep has been raised.
Although my own Mother suffered the loss of a baby who was actually in solitary, she is still conditioned to believe that solitary sleeping is the safe option. My wife Nindy and I are 100% in favor of having baby sleep next to her on the bed. We chose not to voice our veiw to my Mum and told her our little G sleeps in a crib.
I refer you to the video below where Dr James J. McKenna an expert in the field, elegantly explains the truth about co-sleeping, then follow with my own views on how solitary sleeping could have potentially detrimental effects.
The more I consider this issue the more in favor I become of not only baby being within boobs reach of Mummy and being able to immediately sense her and even Dad's presence energies but also feel it could be good to keep babies in at least the same room well into their toddler years and perhaps beyond.
I actually think its traumatising for an infant to wake in the night and realise they have been abandoned, apparently children naturally tend to overcome separation anxiety by the time they are around 4 or 5 years old and maybe we should be allowing of the natural order and to an extent letting our children decide when they want their own sleeping quarters.
As someone who has suffered a fairly serious drug addiction and is thankfully 4 years recovered, I am aware there are some underlying causes that lead to addiction as well as other mental health issues
When I speak of addiction I reference anything including the addictive tendency towards T.V. or faceboook, eating too much sugary or junk foods, shopping or gambling addictions, porn or sex addictions, substance addictions like tobacco, alcohol, pharmaceuticals and illegal drugs, through to the more abstract addiction to the self.
I'm firmly of the belief that one of the surest ways we can help prevent children growing up to seek comfort and security in superficial things which encourage them to turn away or even isolate themselves from healthy relationship to fellow human beings is by raising them in the most nurturing environment we can achieve.
The American Association Of Pediatrics recommends babies should sleep in a separate room by the age of 1 because they will sleep for a longer period, but I fail to see any evidence why sleeping longer is beneficial and after reading about Brazil's Pirahã tribe who only take 20 minute naps think that even us as adults spend too long dozing.
Maybe children don't comprehend why they would have to sleep in a separate room and actually take it as a form of being rejected or even unloved and worthless, exactly the subconscious beliefs that fuel people to seek comfort in pointless or even destructive past times that temporarily subdue such feelings, or buy into the latest products because not having them triggers a deep rooted sense of not being good enough.
Advertising on the whole plays on us not feeling good enough and aims to sell us something that will make us or our lives "better" and each new Government promises to give us a better country and a more secure future.
All anyone really wants in life is happiness, and we all have a desire for security. Call me crazy but it's quite possible those in power know that having these things removed early on will cause people to continue seeking them as they grow and subsequently buying any product or ideology that is pushed upon them by the mainstream which promises a taste of them.
Bed share co-sleeping might just encourage chlidren to bond better with their parents and grow up finding more value in relationships with other people and help stop the hamster wheel of seeking self worth and security in things that ultimately create boundaries and divisions or distance between us all.