A year later, he flied to China the next time, we finally married formally! Unfortunately, before he came to China again, he once had a severe illness, he coughed crazily, he told me that he worried that he would die. Soon later, he said that he recovered his health again. When he was in China, especially he got tremendous respect and care in that Chinese public Key high school, being a substitute teacher for 2 weeks, (It is really a big mistake for him to teach English in that wealthy but mercenary private English training school. All he needed was be respected, instead of high income. What's more, how can an American citizen expect to earn good money in a developing country like China? It is too foolish! 1 dollar is equal to 6.5 Chinese yuan.) he looked in high spirit, he even became very handsome and young, renewing his youth all of sudden. I felt so self-abased before him! He was a "Prince Charming"!
(The photo of my late American husband before the statue of Confucius in that Chinese public key high school)
God, I married a "male God"! Such a perfect American scholar -- handsome, knowledgeable, and passionate, full of energy. He changed completely like a miracle! (If only I knew it was only a temporary illusion! The truth is he was a diabetic patient, and he must have heart disease for a long time, too. Horrible ignorance! After he passed away, I began to read some medical article. He had the typical symptoms of diabetes and heart disease--his congestive feet and legs! I once asked him what was the matter, he told me that it was because he always stood at work when he was a pharmacist. He once worked in 3 places for 3 years in a row to satisfy his exwife's luxury life, so I thought I got the answer. Who knows it was the sign of the horrible diabetes? Due to profound sadness for missing him, I become very weak, lying in bed all day long. However, I never realized that I was also a diabetic until recently my younger sister noticed that my face color was not the same as before, she tried to check my blood sugar level, my God, it proved that I had the severe diabetes, I was even advised to require hospitalization by the doctor. My poor American husband, if I realized that you had suffered so much in US, how could I have the heart to let you work in China, helping me and Chinese students? It is just you who need help most! You need help most! Silly man! My Silly and Respectable American man! Always work in spite of illness till the end of life.) On the other hand, just to look at me, I was so humble and low, like a maidservant, God knows how I was tortured and threatened to be ill by those bloody Chinese who envied me crazily due to my incredibly good luck! But no need to narrate it here in details.
I chose to leave him, trying to have a relax. And I also didn't want my American husband's wealthy Chinese teachers/students to find he married such a poor and low Chinese wife in the bottom of society. I feared that they could look down on him on my account.
However, I never dreamed that a huge tragedy would approach me and drown me to death! At that time I was getting ready to visit him, since I have regained my health, opening all my heart knots and finding my confidence again, and he also saved a sum of money, it was the good time for me to live with him and enjoy married life happily!
As the old saying goes: anything unexpected may happen. God took my beloved American husband suddenly after he lived in China only for 15 months. His savings in China just became his funeral fee!
Why am I still alive now? Why? Why? Why?
In the rest of my life, my eternal topic is to recall our love story. I dealt with my American husband's funeral in China lonely, nobody helped me except my younger sister, Nobody! Nobody! Nobody!
He died, without any comforting words and any economic aid to me! Even if a stone being cast across the river, it can also create some ripples! Why does it seem as if this man never existed in this world? He was gone without a ripple, just like a bubble, flying in the air lightly... Maybe this American was only one of my dreams! many times I doubt! But our marriage certificate, his clothes, chopsticks and his American papers/diplomas,etc, everything told me that I once really married an American husband!
It is an icy and cruel world only believing money and power, it is a strictly hiarachical society where doesn't allow poor people to climb the top of class ladder, it is a snobbish world without sympathy and empathy, OK?
It seems that the answer is YES.
However, I get help this time! I get help from a great Steemit friend @island-girl. She tells me that she knows about my pain.
When I asked her for helping me understand that English sentence of Jim Rohn's writing properly, she offered me the most sincere help, she is a good English teacher like my late American husband! Both kind, well-educated and helpful! I pray she can marry her sweetheart--another real gentleman from western society in the near future in secret!
Below is our chatting record on Wechat!
Her: Hello Gina! Good day to you. I just got back from work. I read the article.
In my understanding, the "old positive line" refers to the saying "Faith is childish" , I think Jim is trying to point out that adult have less faith compare to children. Adults are skeptical or cynical, in other words , adults are doubtful and don't easily trust that something will work out, unlike the children, they dream just anything and they believe it will happen. Anything is possible in the eyes of a child.
Me: Thank you for your great explanation very much. But I am still puzzled. If "positive line" means the saying "Faith is childish", faith is silly. How to understand " It will be a long day in June before I fall for that positive line"? so here I guess "positive line" is about weather or astronomy, ok? I looked up the dictionary, the original meaning of "positive line" is a term of electricity.
Her: For this statement: "It will be a long day in June before I fall for that positive line , I think that refers to the adult how it takes a long time to establish faith , most adults will ask for evidence or proof first before believing something, like being skeptical.
Line refers to the positive sentence itself.
Like the lines of sentences in a paragraph.
Me: Oh. I got it. thank you very much. line means positive sentences. It always takes a long time to let adults believe it is good. Thank you, dear teacher!
Her: Oh you're welcome! I'm always happy to help, I am learning, too.
Nothing is happier than you get help solve the problem over which you have been puzzling for a long time. Nothing is happier than you receive the sincere international friendship.
A big "Thank You" to @island-girl
Your great help and warm inspired me to write this blog!
Part 1 Part 2
P.S. Since I am charged to voilate the so-called international copyright law by a group of Steemiars from "The Writer's Block"--- I translated one of their Steemit blogs into Chinese without asking for their permission in advance, they flagged my blogs and threatened to torpedo all my posts to zero, so I have to give up my own Steemit account for a while. --- I just borrow my younger sister's account to share my blogs now. And I also want to help promote her Steemit account!
If you love my blog, please remember to Upvote, Resteem and Follow me, Thank you for reading it so much. I am @kaixin, Kaixin(开心) in Chinese means joyful.