There is something about chess that invites sexual innuendo. Who can discuss pawn chains without thinking of porn chains? Or kings getting mated without mating, or Queen's being pinned by Bishops, or forking Knights getting skewered without think of... Well, you get the idea.
The Naked Director
There is a popular Japanese Netflix series called The Naked Director which follows the adventures of Toru Muranishi and his attempts to build a porn chain until he is checked by some bad moves.
The Naked Chess Player?
A similar mishap seems to have happened to a friend of mine who I bumped into on the train the other day and who was keen to regale me with his new-found enthusiasm for chess and his study of various openings.
It was good to renew our friendship after a gap of several years, and to do so by playing chess on Chess.com.
So far I am 2-0 to the good. In our third game my pal is back with the white pieces. He was doing fine and we were more or less equal, I guess, until he neglected to extend his pawn chain and overlooked a hanging pawn, which has turned him into "the naked chess player"...
Here is the crucial moment. White advanced his Rook's pawn to h3 to usher away my Knight, which I was more than happy to return to f6 to threaten the e4 pawn.
What would you do if you were white?
Looking at the game from White's perspective, I think things are about even although White's b1 Knight remains undeveloped and a bit stuck. Perhaps it would have been better to develop the Knight before moving the Queen to d2 (presumably hoping to swap off the Bishops).
However, White has a nice solid pawn chain from b2 to d4 and the e4 pawn is ideally placed to extend the pawn chain to e5.
White should also think about castling as his King is a bit vulnerable in the centre. Black can try and prevent kingside castling with Bishop to b5, and anyway, it's difficult to castle immediately because the e4 pawn needs some attention.
White's Best Move?
I don't know what move you would choose, but I like the "pawn to e5" move. You need to pay attention to the e4 pawn whatever you do because it is unguarded and threatened by the f6 Knight.
Pawn to e5 extends the pawn chain into Black's territory, and is backed up by the f4 Bishop, the f3 Knight, and the d4 pawn.
It's the kind of move that solves an immediate problem, strengthens one's position (and pawn chain) and causes problems for one's opponent.
Instead of doing that, my friend made his first naked blunder...
Bh7??
Okay, it's not a bad idea to swap off Bishops. It's the sort of thing I tend to do, and it is why the Queen has been moved onto the c1-h6 diagonal...
BUT timing is hugely important in chess, and now is not the moment to lurch forward with your Bishop when you haven't protected your vital e-pawn or extended your pawn chain.
Easy question: What would you do as Black? Take the Bishop? ;)
Ahem, no, don't take the Bishop. Take the free pawn with tempo (because your Knight is now threatening the Queen).
Nxe4! Thank you very much.
One bad move by Toru Muranishi and he lost his porn chain. One bad move by my friend and his is about to lose his pawn chain and have his whole pawn structure undermined...
The Game Isn't Over Yet...
Well, the game isn't over yet but things seem to have gone from bad to worse for my pal in this game, though I still have to make the right moves as the game reaches its climax...
White has been forced into moving his Rook to g3 and another pawn is about to fall...
Black to move. I guess I should take the h pawn right now with my undefended Bishop.
Bxh5.
That will give me a two pawn advantage, and White has a completely messed up pawn structure.
However, it also means White can retreat his Knight to h4 or f4 because, with my Bishop on h5 (after taking the pawn), my g5 pawn will be pinned to the King by the g3 Rook.
Also, how risky is it for Black if White attempts a Knight sacrifice?
Wish me luck as we head towards the endgame!
Cheers.
David Hurley
Sources
The Naked Director
Poster: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cf/Poster_for_The_Naked_Director.png
Netflix: netflix.com/jp-en/title/80239462