Everyone has their happy place. I do too and most times my happy place is on my couch watching a cartoon or reading a book. My favorite happy place is on my couch with a bowl of ice-cream but I cannot afford to stuff myself with it every time I feel sad. Not only would it eat into my pockets, it would also leave me with a bad cough. My body is very sensitive to cold.
What exactly is Depression?
Unlike what I have been made to believe, depression doesn't necessarily mean locking yourself indoors, curtains drawn and total oblivious bliss to the outside world. There is a reason depression is seen as vile and draining. Because you never see it coming. The fact that this thing is mostly triggered by trauma or fatal incidents is one thing that mostly gives it that unsuspecting trait.
After listening and watching people, even kids battle depression, I came to the realization that it is not about age or even experience levels. It can happen to anybody. The most annoying thing may be the fact that the person doesn't even know what is going on with them (there is always the case of denial), let alone when it is a child.
When a person doesn't know what is going on with them, it is almost difficult for someone else to notice it for them.
Does it mean I am depressed all the time...?
Personally, I do not understand fully the whole concept of depression. I do not know why people get depressed. Could it be a chemical imbalance in the body or a result of past trauma?
Depression is almost always a symptom in some mental illnesses according to research. What does it mean when someone is depressed almost half the time of their lives?
I remember reading somewhere that you can cope with depression but never cure it. It is always there. You as a person need to find a way to constantly fight your way around it and efficiently keep it locked out.
I also read that Depression can be soothing to a soul who has no more fight in them. Which means, they are either at the edge of despair or hopelessness. The will to try is actually dead and they find themselves giving in to the darkness rather than fighting it.
No normal, sane human being would contemplate suicide or even weigh it on their scales. This is a sign that a lot is lost (according to the victim).
What to do when...?
I have come across people battling depression and because these symptoms are things I have experienced for a long time, I can quickly distinguish them in someone close to me.
Example. A neighbor of mine. When she first started living with us, I didn't notice anything at first. She was always bright and had the most beautiful smile. But as months progressed, I couldn't ignore the signs.
Late mornings (when she wakes up as early as 6), bags under her eyes (and swollen like she'd been crying), surly moods, quick temper and the most noticeable, nonchalance.
I first thought maybe it was just my imagination and she was going through bad days but one day I mentioned it in passing and it was confirmed. She was battling depression. As I dug deeper, I found that she was shouldering her tuition and practically taking care of her family.
The other person was my colleague at work. Always sleeping, tired all the time, saying things that are purely negative, always looking for my affection, terrible mood swings, inconsistent eating habit and a very short attention span. I decided to talk to him and voice my concerns to see if there was anyway to help him. He broke down and cried when he finally opened up. We talked for a long time and all I could do at the moment was hold his hand through it.
There was also a case of misplaced priorities. This made me see that one can throw themselves into depression by being in the wrong channel and receiving the wrong messages. In this case, this person needed to change their environment and pick up their lives. Only by letting no one decide for them did they ultimately get back to their feet.
I say, I don't always know the solution to offer during these moments. What I do is just listen and if they want it, give my two cents. Finding someone to talk to and not be scared of being judged is really hard these days. So, I decided that I can't solve my problems or theirs, but I can listen.
Final words...
My parting words is not to be judgy. If your friend is becoming more distant than usual, talk to them and try to find out what's going on. Depressed people don't walk about with gloomy faces. No. Most of them carry a mega watt smile and a positive attitude. Yet, it may not be enough.
Also, it is so easy to get soaked up in this world of increasing difficulties. Do not forget to always find yourself. Which means, find time to reflect and enjoy your happy place. If possible, take other people along with you and share theirs too.
Finally, be grateful. Really hard to do but find one thing to be thankful for daily. I am thankful right now, for cartoons and ice-cream. What are you thankful for?
This is my response to the HiveNaija Weekly Prompt themed: Breaking the Silence....
