I was awake very early this morning and decided to join my local running group for their regular Wednesday run. It seemed like a good way to get my social needs met since the Mister is working a lot of overtime and I have no shifts at the day job this week.
It was unusually cold and thus the group was small. I fell in with two women who I know quite well and they were quick to mention that they were feeling rubbish. One had a dry cough she'd been battling for a week and the other has an ongoing knee issue that periodically gives her very sharp, acute pain making it hard to run.
After about 10 or 15 minutes I was already thinking I was ready to wind my way back to the car. I wanted to listen to my body and honour what it needed. One of the ladies must have read my mind as she asked her friend if she wanted to head up to the train station and the second woman agreed.
By way of explanation, the first lady shared that they need to do the extra k's (kilometres) because they're doing 'Run Against Violence'. I indicated that I understood and that I would turn around at the upcoming junction and meet them back at the start. Begrudgingly, the same lady continued,
"If I wasn't doing 'Run Against Violence' I'd be turning around too."
And I immediately thought, 'I think you're missing the whole point here..."
I did my u-turn and waved them off and calmly continued on my way and pondered the juxtaposition of ideas here.
They're running to raise funds and awareness for the horrifically common occurrence of domestic violence here in Australia. (I dare say this is even more common in other parts of the world, also).
It's a worthy problem to want to solve. And it's important to both these women who I know have lived in violent homes. And I'm not poo-pooing any of that.
And let's ponder this for a minute:
What is violence?
Violence is an act that is driven by out-of-control anger that causes another person or people to be harmed as a result.
Anger is not the culprit. It's the human being who is experiencing the anger and doesn't know how to safely express or work with/move with this high energy emotion--and so this anger taking over their physiology--that's the issue.
Every human being is designed to feel anger. It's how we protect ourselves and our loved ones. It's a necessary emotion. But in so many cultures we are not taught how to safely and appropriately work with our anger, so one of two things happens:
1. We shut it down, or
2. We let it out.
When we shut it down it doesn't disappear, instead it harms our body.
And when we let it out--without knowing how to work with it--we harm other people's bodies (and sometimes ourselves as well, as an accidental by-product).
What these ladies don't understand yet, and that I'm hoping you'll get a better sense of by reading this article, is that the way to reduce violence in the world, and in the home, is to start with your own body.
Everything starts with us.
Where am I pushing my body when it needs to rest?
Before I talk about those "bad" people "out there" who are doing "bad things" can I look in the mirror and see where I'm actually being violent towards myself?
I think we can run against violence, speak against violence and even be against violence all day long but I'm not sure how much of a difference that approach will really make.
But to listen to our body and honour it when it needs move and needs to rest... to notice when it's feeling fear or sadness or anger (or any other emotion) and learn how to safely express these?
That, my friends, is how we change the world.
