Are you a good listener?
I suppose most people would answer that question in the affirmative, and if questioned further would point to their ability to remember what was said, to their excellent memory, and perhaps even to their debating skills.
But are you really a good listener?
When you listen to somebody, do you listen purely for the sake of being able to formulate a response? Are you listening so you can "win" the conversation? Or do you actually listen and digest, truly hearing the person's perspective and absorbing what they say as a perspective rather than a point of debate in an argument whose sole purpose is not understanding but to win points?
I read all sorts of blogs and columns online; I listen to podcasts and debates and panel discussions, covering everything from social issues, to politics, to psychology, to current events.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who would be completely baffled by the fact that my subscription lists pretty much cover soup-to-nuts from ultra lefty liberal woke crusaders to extremely conservative right wing commentators.
Some might even unfriend me if they knew that I'm given to listening to podcasts by people they would consider "the enemy."
But the enemy of whom? There are already multiple assumptions about which side they are on, which side I am on, and which side the podcaster is on. The listening has already stopped... before it even got started!
How can we have any hope of finding true dialogue and resolutions in this divided world of ours if we immediately dismiss opposing viewpoints without actually knowing or listening to those espousing those viewpoints?
Admittedly, it takes some soul searching and self-inquiry to reach a point where you can truly listen; where you are not trapped in the echo chambers of your own opinions.
I have a feeling that a lot of the polarity and division we see in society today can be tracked back to the fact that we dismiss a lot of points of view without even listening to them. But if you aren't willing to listen to those you feel threatened by, to truly understand what it is that motivates them to say the things they say, how can you possibly hope to build a bridge to understanding?
Don't get me wrong, I understand the allure of thinking in black and white, and putting people and their opinions into neat little boxes. I understand the allure of calling things either "good" or "bad" rather than putting in the effort it takes to interpret the many nuances most issues are surrounded by.
As a great example of listening and having true dialogue, today I watched most of a podcast in which former Fox News anchor and conservative commentator Tucker Carlson spent two hours in conversation with left leaning liberal commentator Ana Kasparian. There were no barbs thrown, and no heated arguing, no win/lose... just two people of differing viewpoints doing their best to understand each other's perspective and discovering (GASP!) that they actually saw eye-to-eye on a remarkable number of things.
I'm not going to get into what was discussed; if you're interested you can find the full podcast episode here.
You can't be a truly good listener unless you're willing to hear things you might not necessarily want to hear or agree with.
Sadly, listening is a rarity in today's world, because most people are too invested in a specific outcome to engage in actual dialogue.
Which worries me, for the future...
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great remainder of your weekend!
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Created at 2025.08.09 23:56 PST
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