I suppose I should preface this by saying that I am pretty much a "quiet peacenik" and definitely not part of the ambitious and energetic "Type A" set of human beings.
But I certainly have nothing against that type of personality! I'm just saying that my approach to life tends to be very laid back, and pretty much always has been.
Not Everything is a "Debate!"
We all have our individual interaction styles. Although I get along well with pretty much all people, the type of person I tend to find it exhausting to be around are those who seem compelled to turning pretty much all interaction into a debate that has to have a "winner" and a "loser."
I find it difficult to want to say anything around this type of personality, because even simple observations and statements of self-evident facts have to be turned into something that almost feels like an argument.
Even though I usually succeed in not being pulled in, I still come away from these encounters feeling emotionally drained.
Insufferable Know-it-Alls?
I'm not entirely sure where this seemingly pervasive need to always be the one who's right comes from.
I used to think this kind of interaction style was mainly the domain of super-intelligent people who also felt insecure and socially awkward... and the one place where they felt they could "establish themselves" was in knowing more than anyone else, and always asserting their knowledge.
Ran into that a lot with developers, back when I worked in IT. And it had nothing to do with being extraverted and highly social.
But in some ways, it feels like more of a "territorial" thing. It feels a bit like being in the middle of a political debate... except the conversation can be about the "politics" of whether or not broccoli tastes good, or whether it will rain tomorrow.
What We Were Punished for, as Kids...
I suppose some of it may have its roots in our upbringing.
My ex was raised in a household of college professors, and grew up under the specter of the "worst possible sin" you could have as a human being was to be ignorant, and to not know something.
"Approval" was given for "really knowing your stuff" and actively proving that you were "top of the class," whether that was actual academics or merely the "School of Daily Life."
Everything — from cooking a turkey to quantum physics — had to be debated until a "winner" was clearly established. My strategy was simply to "roll over and play dead," but you can't always not be part of the conversation.
Anyway, that was then... However, I still find people who approach conversations from a perspective of winning/losing to be exhausting to be around.
Thanks for reading, and have a great rest of your week!
How about YOU? Ever encounter people who turn every conversation into a debate? Why do you think they do so? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20220328 14:06 PDT
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