I have come to think that it is an inherent part of many people's nature that they want to control their environment.
They want to control what they're doing; they want to control the people around them; they want to control the outcome of everything they undertake.
I remember being at a week-long self-development workshop some years ago, in which we were learning a lot about human motivation and the fundamental drives we all have. "The need to control" was one of the four major drives that seem to repeat over and over in the human experience.
I'm sure most of us know what a "control freak" is, but I'm not suggesting that people who want to control are necessarily control freaks!
In many cases our desire to control comes out of the fear of the unknown... then we try to control the situation simply by trying to make the unknown "known," in some way... typically by interfering with the most likely outcome, in some way.
Controlling tendencies manifest in interesting ways sometimes. For example, my dad would never sit in a traffic jam.
As long as the car was moving, he felt in control of the situation... so we'd end up lost in all sorts of odd neighborhoods, as he would try to navigate his way around the stopped traffic or highway accident. Better lost but moving, than sitting still.
Controlling PEOPLE? Not Likely!
Of course, controlling other people and their actions is often an exercise in futility. And yet? People so often try to get others to behave in specific ways.
And that's where we come to this idea of remembering just two very powerful words that can help us let go of control more easily, if we can just incorporate them into our reality.
"Let Them!"
How often have you gone through a whole scenario in your head in which you start worrying about the fact that when some co-worker, or family member, or a friend does something... all kinds of conditions are going to come up that are going to make you feel uncomfortable?
And so, you roll up your sleeves - whether it be physically or just metaphorically - and you jump in and try to control the situation, and in particular you try to control the person in such a way that what they're doing actually becomes something else so that maybe the outcome of the situation at hand will be more to your liking.
What if, instead of thinking "oh my God I can't let them _______" you instead just let it be and employed the simple idea "let them?"
What do you think will actually happen if you let somebody do something that needs to be done their way rather than your way? It's dubious that the world will actually come to an end, and you know that as well as I do!
Which isn't to say that they're in situations where stepping in and offering suggestions in some fashion isn't a desirable course of action... however there are a lot of times when nobody actually benefits from micromanagement.
The nice thing, at least for me, about just allowing people their ways is that it lifts your sense of responsibilty for the outcome. And that can feel like a burden lifted!
Thanks for stopping by and have a great remainder of your weekend!
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Created at 2023-12-09 23:59PST
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