We've likely all done it:
Some topic is being discussed, or some event unfolds... and we know what we want to say about it, but instead we hold our tongues or deliver a decidedly "watered down" version of what we had in mind.
Which isn't to say that there aren't situations in which we are better off not just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.
Restraint matters.
That said, there are polite ways in which we can speak our minds... and ways that make us come across like a rhinoceros charging through a crowd of people!
But being courteous and mindful is a whole different thing from substantially self-censoring every time a subject comes up, about which most of the world might not like our opinion.
Self-censoring excessively is actually bad for both our mental and physical health.
I know this from experience, normally having the sort of personality many psychologists would describe as "compliant." I never was willing to rock the proverbial "boat" too much, so I mostly stayed quiet. I particularly remember this from my years of living as (more or less) a Social Democrat Danish national in conservative Texas.
As I may have mentioned before, part of this can be attributed to being raised by perfectionistic parents, including a sense that it was not a good idea to open my mouth unless I was 100% certain that what I had to offer not only was correct and factual, but would also add value to the conversation.
Along the way, I have met quite a few other people who had similar upbringings... and they quite often report the same experience of "self-censoring."
Is Self-Censoring Harmful?
Aside from "socially conscious" self-editing to appropriately fit the situation, the problem is that we can easily lose our sense of true self, if we are always serving up a version of our truth that has been so extensively adjusted as to no longer actually represent what we intended to say.
"Self-forgetting" often walks hand-in-hand with self-censoring.
It was something I originally learned about almost 30 years ago when I was deeply involved in studying the "Enneagram of Personality," as part of my journey of self-development.
Of course, these days we also live in a world of greater polarity than we have had in a very long time. So many seem to go from silence to total outrage in a matter of seconds... if they hear something that even slightly deviates from their worldview. Not a stretch to want to self-censor, just to not have to deal with their outrage!
But it's a slippery slope! We decide it's just easier to not face the histrionics... and there goes the self-censoring, alive and well!
It's one of the reasons why I like writing as much as I do. Somehow, the urge to water things down seem more diffuse when I'm sitting with my keyboard, rather than some person with a short fuse, ready to go off! And yes, I know some folks really enjoy fiery arguments...
For the time being, I'll try to keep those contained within the written word...
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great remainder of your week!
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Created at 2024-01-03 01:37 PST
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