We are often exposed to situations where we meet new people and we have no idea how to communicate with them.
We might want to communicate, but we feel intimidated and uneasy about talking or even starting a conversation. Very often a conversation can result in wasted time.
People might not be interested in what you have to say which makes you feel inferior.
If you learn how to approach people correctly it doesn’t matter whether you are talking to the president or talking to someone famous, you will be able to have a constructive conversation and people will remember you, or at least put in effort to hear what you have to say.
Here are some ways to help you have a meaningful conversation with anyone:
- Don’t get too excited. Even if you are talking to someone very famous, don’t let them see you’re over excited. They are only human beings and they are not superior to you or anyone else.
- Do not interrupt anyone. This is rude behavior and makes you seem desperate. Wait your turn to speak. If you have something interesting to say, it will still be interesting in a few minutes.
- Be curious. Ask proper questions to get the conversation flowing. Ask them questions about what they are saying, to show that you are actively listening. If they see that you are interested it makes it more likely that you will become part of the conversation.
If you know that you are going to meet someone important** do not freak out.** Do research about the person before the time. I’m not talking about stalking a person, just find out the basics about their life, so that you will at least know which type of questions to ask or which NOT to ask.
- Ask questions about things you know the person is interested in. There is no use in talking about horses which is the person’s main interest, but you have not seen a horse in your life. Don’t force a conversation and make a fool of yourself talking about things you have no clue about.
- Value the other person’s time. If you see that they are in a hurry, don’t force a conversation just to say something.
Often enough a conversation just hit it off. It feels as if you are talking to someone that you have known for years. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone could just get along?
If you meet someone and you hit it off, it means that you have showed enough interest in the other person to make it about them and not about you. Most people like talking about themselves, so keep the conversation flowing by asking valuable questions about the other person’s life without getting too personal.
If the other person feel comfortable in the conversation take it a little bit further and share some similar experiences with them. This might make them realize that you are of interest to them and it may be the beginning of a good friendship.
Invite the person for coffee at your favorite coffee shop. A coffee shop is a quiet place where you can have good conversations and it is much better than meeting up in a bar where either person drink too much and they are not themselves. If you make a new friend, make it all about the other person.
How do you start a perfect conversation?
Timing is vitally important. You don’t want to ask someone an important conversation when they are busy with something important for example. To ask your father for money while he is busy working out the monthly budget might not be such an ideal time.
You don’t want to interrupt a busy person or even your boss if you see that they are busy. Try and schedule a time before the time so you can thoroughly prepare for what you want to talk about and you know the other person will also be prepared for the discussion.
If you have a new neighbor that you want to meet, take a plate of cookies at a suitable time and you might even be invited in for coffee.
If you meet someone new, make sure to keep good eye contact. To be open you need to look someone in the eyes so that they know that you have good intentions and are not trying to stalk them or invade their personal space. Remember at times YOU might also be a person that other people are interested in.
How do you have a quality conversation?
To practice having good conversations, and to start improving your skills as a conversationalist, you need to take time each day to practice. Talk to people around you and start a quick conversation with them.
Comment on your surroundings and compliment them on their appearance without sounding creepy. Talk about general things to keep the conversation light and clean. Stay positive to make a good impression.
Make a point to remember people. If you go to the same coffee shop a few times a week put in effort to learn the waiter or server’s name. To call them by their names, creates a personal connection between you and could even get you a free coffee once in a while!
Try saying something encouraging to a co-worker whom you would like to know better.
You could offer a statement such as:
"I really admire the way you delivered that presentation. Could you give me some tips on how to organize an effective pitch?"
This type of statement not only starts the conversation on a positive note, but you are opening the door for follow-up.
Ask good questions. It takes at least two people to have a great conversation. Ask open-ended questions that do not only require a yes or no answer.
Be genuine. Don’t use people to get what you want. If you really want to get to know someone better then make an actual connection. Be sincere in what you are asking and put in effort from your side to keep the connection.
Monitor your body language. Your physical behavior is an important component of any face to face conversation. Make sure that you keep in eye contact with the person you’re talking to. This shows that you are listening and paying attention to what they are saying.
Avoid over-sharing. You don’t want to tell a new friend your whole pedigree. You might embarrass the other person and make the whole conversation awkward. Focus on what you are saying because over-sharing often happens when you are trying to impress others for example during a job interview.
Use conversations to strengthen your personal and work relationships. Communicating is one of the best ways to strengthen your connection with someone. Try to have in depth conversations with friends and family members to strengthen the bonds. Try and talk to co-workers about anything else except work. This might help you connect on a more personal level, and if you ever have to work on a project together then you will naturally communicate more effectively.
