I recently read something that resonated with me: Your mind doesn't age, only your body. While inaccurate in a literal sense, it makes sense because it's not like we feel any different as a person as we age. It's in our bodies that we notice we don't bounce back as quickly as we did in our 20s or we have more aches than we used to have. Have you ever looked at someone and thought they looked older than you, but when you place them in an age bracket you realise you're also that age? Then when you think about you realise you also look that age even though your mind thinks you're still in your 20s?
Just the other day my friend told me she was officially old enough to be able to move into a retirement village, because you only have to be 55 to go into them. It didn't seem to fit at all because she has a 15 year old daughter, so I was a bit taken aback. It probably didn't help that I don't really see people in their 50s as particularly old, more late middle age. 60s is probably the tipping point for older age in my mind, but perhaps because that's where the official retirement age comes in, because I still don't see it as particularly old. My father-in-law died at 64 and it felt far too young as he was an active, energetic man until his illness.
Yet having said that, I've come across people in their 50s and even 40s who look and act or move as if they are much older. Which makes me think that there is a significant connection between your mindset and physical ageing. There seem to be two main mindsets with regards responding to the body aging. One uses it as an excuse to do less and the other uses it as an excuse to do more (or at least ignore the slowing of the body with its aches and pains and continue at their usual activity level regardless). Those who choose activity, particularly high level activity, seem to defy the physical signs of ageing much more than those who allow themselves to do less and less.
Several months ago I met a woman who, at the time, I placed as older than myself; I just couldn't pinpoint how much older. I felt like she wasn't quite as old as my mother, so maybe up to 15 years older. Her face is haggard with lots of teeth missing and she uses a walking frame while out and about. She is a very chatty woman so over time I gained clues to her age and eventually discovered that she was not only near the same age as me, but in fact almost a year younger! She always talks about how she's old and all the problems that come with getting old. She even tries to educate me on these ageing issues, so I haven't the heart to tell her how old I am. Thankfully she hasn't asked, either.
I feel like when we decide that we're getting old, then we allow ourselves to get old physically. I don't think we naturally steer ourselves that way, but we might allow outside influences to help lead us in that direction. We're often being told that as we get older we get slower and our bodies deteriorate, which essentially true, but it's really an over simplification of what's happening. While there are certain aspects of ageing that we have no control over, there are others that we have plenty of control over, namely our nutrition and our activity levels. These two things are connected not just to our physical, but also our mental wellbeing. We can even plan ahead and prepare to slow the deterioration of our bodies with what we do and consume in our younger years, but the reality is that most of us won't prepare for our future bodies, after all, why would we need to when young bodies bounce back so easily despite what we put them through. So we usually only think about these things when we get to them.
The good thing is that we can still make differences at any stage in our lives if we make some changes. At 48, I can do some things now that I never could when I was younger. However, what I can't do now is abuse my body like I used to with junk food without paying the price and that price has multiplied. I pay for it with migraines, depression and low energy. Mind, body, nutrition and activity are inextricably linked and if one gets out of whack, the others suffer too, but that's a topic for another discussion.
Do you feel as old as you are or do you think age is just a number? I don't believe we should let others around us or societal norms dictate how we age. If we take care of our mind and bodies, we can age as gracefully (or disgracefully) as we like.