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¡When the universe speaks to you and you are deaf!

I always say that “There is no one worse blind than he who does not want to see”, and sometimes all the traffic lights can be green and you, without thinking much, you jump to cross the road, without measuring the consequences.

The first time I met X (we are not going to name him) I didn't like him. My body rejected him completely and although he tried to be nice, I think I exchanged two or three words with him. No more. That was the first sign of danger I should have noticed, but only animals are able to smell when they are facing a threat.

Another sign that I should have noticed was that just the day I gave my cell phone number to X, my cell phone was stolen and this person, although he tried to contact me, could not: every time he called, the operator told him that the cell phone was out of service.

But it must be said: X had set out to reach his target and his target was me, so he tried by all means to run into me, to begin to exist in my eyes and gain my trust. He made a trap of gifts, of gentlemanly behavior, of excessive attentions that should have also alerted me, but as I also say, there are two ways to grow up: in the tree or on the ground, and I decided to crash headlong into the asphalt.

Eventually I became X's girlfriend and everything changed (or it had always been like that and I hadn't noticed): his former considerate behavior became possessive, intransigent, excessive, suspicious. I could not go out anywhere alone and if I had to work, he would come to pick me up and take me in his car. His unhealthy jealousy made me see ghosts where there was nothing and then he began to control the way I dressed, the way I walked, the way I smiled. Without realizing it, I had surrendered the most precious thing I had: my freedom.

Everyone warned me how toxic X was, but I didn't see it and even justified his behavior. I could only see that he showered me with gifts, that he told me every moment that he loved me and that we had the most delicious of reconciliations. I was blind.

So with that relationship I not only lost friends, I also lost weight and hair due to stress: I looked like a wilted flower thrown in the gutter. But one day, after finding him checking my cell phone, we had an argument. I must say that arguing had also become our hobby, but that time, everything was different. He left and I felt exhausted, disoriented, ugly, discouraged and that was when, without knowing how, a blue butterfly entered my house. I don't know why but I knew it was the sign I needed to break those chains that threatened to kill me. The flight of the blue butterfly represented everything I was and had ceased to be.

Then, determined and with my eyes wide open, as if the blindfold had fallen from my eyes, after that, I put an end to that relationship and although X wanted to come back a couple of times, it never occurred to me to give him a second chance. Sometimes, when people remind me of that relationship, it makes me very sad and angry because the signs were always there, but I was not only myopic from birth, I was blind or I made myself blind, because as they say: love is blind and madness is what accompanies it.

The images are from my personal gallery and the text was translated with Deepl

This is my participation this week for our great friend @ericvancewalton's initiative: Memoir monday. If you want to participate, here's the link to the invitation post

Memoir Monday: ¡When the universe speaks to you and you are deaf!

¡When the universe speaks to you and you are deaf!

The images are from my personal gallery and the text was translated with Deepl

This is my participation this week for our great friend @ericvancewalton's initiative: Memoir monday. If you want to participate, here's the link to the invitation post

Thank you for reading and commenting. Until a future reading, friends