There are times of sadness and times of laughter. There are times of disagreement but there are also moments of understanding. These are just some of the things that my husband and I experienced, however, these strengthen us to the real challenges of life.
This time, I would like to share an incident that changed my husband's perspective. This may not be worthy to others but I just wanted share how my children dealt the difficulties in life and how it changed them.
Grandparents are said to be loaded with knowledge and wisdom. Once these would be shared to the children, surely these will give a lasting and positive impact that are substantial to them to be better in the future.
The day was bright, and the three Musketeers, RA, RT and RM were feeling bored. Nothing was exciting on this overcast Tuesday and they found themselves restless.
"How about visiting Lola (Granny) Luzving?" She had invited us for a breakfast. She was eager enough to see us. I asked them religiously.
The Grievances in Life (The Wait)...
My Three Musketeers were undisturbed in their sleep. I was laying on my bed, trying to sleep to escape the worries felt inside, however despite the silence inside the room I cannot fall myself to sleep. It was passed midnight, and the worries inside of me became heavier as it pressed my heart.
The silence was interrupted by the constant knock of the door. It was 2:30 AM already. My husband came home, drunk and leaned his body heavily against the wall, with glazed eyes and flushed face. I kept myself calm and disregarded his actions to stay away from trouble.
Suddenly, he asked me a favor to get our motorcycle left at the sitio (part of the barangay) where the fiesta was celebrated. He was drunk and incapable of driving thus, his friend drove him home. I told him I cannot grant his favor as it was dawn already, no available vehicle that can transport me to the place he was referring to.
He insisted that I must go however for me, it was not safe already. Drug addicts are rampant nowadays. Something bad might happen along the way and besides it takes 40 minutes to reach the place.
He was disappointed, got mad and our disagreement escalated. The tranquil atmosphere inside the house shattered. There were exchange of painful words, but I kept myself calm and controlled my voice not to raise.
The kids were awaken when they sensed the tensions. Without any hesitation, my husband suddenly pulled our mirror placed on the wall and violently hit it on my children's room. The mirror shattered and the broken pieces scattered in every corner of the room.
He was not satisfied yet, he lifted the computer table and hit it on the floor. I never stopped him, instead we left the house silently and we transferred to my mother's house for our safety. Good thing, their house is beside ours. My eldest went out of the window from her room due to her nervousness. I never cried. No tears were shedding on my eyes. I remained strong and calm. RM was crying terribly as they approached to their grandma's house.
One by one, I lifted our dogs and transferred them all to my mother's house. Followed by our cats and kittens. We left our house silently, leaving my husband who was in erratic behavior.
At six o'clock in the morning, he was shocked and was saddened to what had happened that dawn. ****My apologies***," he mumbled, with voice full of guilt.
Maybe I'm just too weak or I just don't like a chaotic family, thus, apologies were granted. The news reached to my children's grandparents (father's side) and thus we're invited to visit their house for some counseling and guidance for the children.
Actually, my children sometimes lost their respect to their father and are so disobedient. Being drunkard might be one the reasons why this was happening. Thus, I'm not hesitant to seek some advice and guidance to someone who is seasoned on these. However, never did I brainwash my kids when it comes to respect. They must show it to their father no matter what will happen.
At Granny's House
Granny happily welcomed us all and embrace us just to momentarily lessen all the our worries. She knew everything because my eldest child communicated to her on that day. Before she invited us to get inside, she told us to have a quick stroll at her backyard, or at her garden.
Afterwards, she talked to my children first. Offered them some hot drinks and yogurt.
While they were talking privately, I was having fun taking photos of their centennial house that taught me some lessons in life.
The Comparison
This ancient house stands majestically at the back of the green gate behind the highway. The walls are evident of an enduring craftsmanship and alluring beauty. It doesn't appear creepy for me as it has been painted well.
The house is truly historical. This was where Granny had grown. It was built before the World War II. In fact, this was where they were molded properly by their parents in order to have a better future.
The floor is well-polished and very shiny.
These are the old cabinets, obviously the woods were darkened sign that they are aging. Still they are usable.
The beds are so antique. So creepy as it reminded of those nights when they were restless due to war. However, they remain their strong appearance and are functional.
Photographs hung on the walls with the images of our late grandparents.
The sturdy and solid beams made this house withstood when there were typhoons and strong winds. This centennial house reminded me the importance of strength and resilience that are truly needed in order to last longer.
The house can be compared to one's life basing on the resiliency and how it remained to be strong in protecting the family. Its strength is truly a comparison of myself. I never surrendered because I valued my family.
Granny's Words of Wisdom
There might be difficulties in life, but Patience must be observed. We know it is hard to handle crazy things but we need to be FAITHFUL and must keep HOPE to be alive always. She addedd that tough times are not lasting, but strong and tough families will.
These words changed my children's perspective in their lives. Grateful to the thoughts shared to them by their grandma.
As a mother sometimes scolding them right aways is an action that I would always do to them.
She added that as parents we should handle our kids with empathy and with of course understanding. If something is unclear, discuss calmly what's going on? Raising voices and scolding them right away are not the best solutions, instead encourage them to be open, communication should be done and in such way they will learn.
We never did these to them, and something that we have to change. Why not give a try? Maybe this will foster a supportive family where they can express freely and feel safe. And maybe they will be guided and will grow learning from these experiences.
Hugging granny tightly and taking photos before we bid goodbye ended this visit. Truly we were forever grateful for the wisdom shared and for the love showered. We went home with with full of determination. Our visit with Granny binded us again heartily. No more awkwardness and with forgiving hearts.
This was our 2-day visit to Granny. Sometimes, hearing words of enlightenment and wisdom from somebody who knows more in life can be beneficial. Nothing will be lost if it would be given a try. In this visit, my husband was changed and promised next time he will drink moderately.
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