One of my biggest fears and for a good reason too is creating my own family. We are most of the time a product of our environment and our past experiences. I realized that people marry for all kinds of reasons, most of which are wrong or just excuses, then they get into marriage and into creating their own family and things go haywire. I believe we have all seen our fair share of failed marriages and all manners of divorce and home violence for this subject to be scary enough. One of the things I have been opportune to learn is that fear is a good thing, and we are ignorant creatures by default. The fear is a stimulation to find study and research, to gather knowledge on whatever it is that is troubling us.
I come from a loving, Christian family (which doesn't mean that there are not many ups and downs) and for the most part I have been given a solid foundation on principles of life, Godliness, love and relationships. And as the first son, once in a while, my dad gives me a reminder about marriage and creating my own family. To be completely honest, most times it flies over my head and I couldn't care less, but those few times that I do listen, It sobs me up. I think about the kind of person I would eventually marry, I think about the kind of person I will be at that point, knowing fully well I don't want to marry just anyone, I also know my own worth will attract my peers. People tend to be so focused on who they will marry, they live so much in the fantasy they create in their head about their spouse that they don't actually make any progress in their own lives, they don't work on themselves to be worth what they imagine and more.
Then comes the matter of kids. This one scares me the most, children are more than just that (little kids), they are a continuation of generations, they are heritages, they literally have the future in their hands. It scares me the most because many people undermine the kind of work that it should take to raise someone with that level of importance and worth. Raising kids is a full time job, or it should be but a lot of people don't believe it to be so. When I think about the depth of knowledge it is going to take to raise kids, the knowledge to raise a boy child, to raise a girl child, to lead them, set boundaries, teach them to think, love them, provide for them, be there for them, allow them, befriend them, correct them, discipline them, support them, etc it sends a shiver through my head because I don't know a whole lot of how this things work, the knowledge I have now is not enough. One of the reasons for the crisis in life is because parents don't know how to raise kids, they don't read or learn, they just wing it and they forget that raising animals needs a depth of knowledge and skill, with serious precision but they just wing it for their children which is just bad.
Children don't come from us, they come through us, and for that reason, we should place them in higher order and treat them as such and to do that, we have to start now, read, learn, take seminars, research on all things because you wouldn't know when you will need it in making your family a strong and bonded one. Knowledge is potential power, there is little crisis you can solve without knowledge. I believe this is a goo fear to have, the fear that will prompt you to sit down and learn how families work, to take up case studies, get mentorship and so on in order not to create a national or universal disaster with your own hands by raising kids who will become fiends to the society.
This Fear of mine is good!
The Penitself!