I’m trying so hard to understand a lot of things at the same time, and one is the needs of people. Do people need people to listen to their problems, or they need solutions to their problems? If you ask me, I honestly don’t know.
People become angry when they are offered help after they have mentioned their problems. “I don’t think I need your help,” “I didn’t ask for your help.” It really is confusing because then, if you don’t need my help, don’t want my help, why then did you come to me with your problems?
I don’t know of anyone who presents a problem he/she already has solutions to to someone. Because what then becomes the point? I think this is something this generation is obsessed with. They’ll get so angry at you for trying to help them, and sometimes it makes me confused.
What’s more confusing is when you agree not to help them but just lend a listening ear. Oh, then they call you all sorts of names—unkind, wicked, nonchalant, and so many others.
Just yesterday, my very close friend, who always tells me “don’t fix my problems for me,” told me that she doesn’t see the need for her to keep sharing her issues with me. To be very honest, I was already tired during that time, so I thought she could feel that tiredness and was rescheduling our call. But that wasn’t the case, and I only realized that after she said, “A problem shared is still mine and you never present solutions”.
I was very surprised and asked her what she even meant by that. I became angry but calm. And at that point, I wanted to scream and remind her of the number of times I’ve offered to help her and the number of times she has refused to accept them. But I concluded that, it was a realization she had to figure out on her own.
Honestly, these days, I’m always tired because of my hundred and one to-do list but I always try my best to be there for those who need me. And that is something they don’t know. I believe everyone has their own issues to deal with but they still choose to be there for others and that is beautiful. So if someone offers a helping hand or a listening ear, the least you can do is acknowledge it. Don’t make them feel bad for wanting to be there for you.
Image is mine