My honey arrived on the boat just as I sat down to make myself a sandwich. While unloading some groceries and supplies, he stated, "Oh, I have something that's going to make you happy."
In my brain, I thought, "Oh, I'm already unhappy just hearing that. I cannot imagine anything in your possession that will make me happy. I can foresee clutter, but surely not happiness."
Then he handed me that box with a Jamaican spiced bun.
When I saw the bun, I grinned and told myself, "Blimey, it's a good thing I'd kept my blinking mouth shut." ... but I always think before I speak, though.
This spiced bun is a delicacy that's eaten with cheddar cheese throughout the year, but particularly during Easter in Jamaica. It's one of my favourite things to eat, and whenever I see it, it's like an endorphin, and I immediately go into a reflective mood.
I was a picky eater as a child. However, during Easter holidays, I'd gain noticeable weight because I would eat slices of bun and cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner at home... and it's customary for neighbours to offer a double slice of bun sandwiched with cheese when a visitor popped by at Easter. So, I'd strategically shamelessly visit several neighbours (for a belly full friendly chat) during my holidays. Also, being from a religious family meant obligatory Sunday school classes. On one particular Sunday during my Easter break, I must have been about 7 or 8 years old. As I congregated with other kids, the teacher beckoned.
—Sunday School Teacher: "Milly, you seem distant; are you here?"**
— Me: "Unfortunately, yes, I'm here. Just waiting for the final hymn so I can go home to eat my bun and cheese."
That response was like a bolt from the blue to the teacher, who later relayed our conversation to my mum. My defence was, "I was just being honest, as the teacher taught me to be in Sunday school."
Being blunt was my distinct personality trait in my youth and early adulthood. Something that I was unapologetic about. However, as the years progressed, maybe through professional positions, I adapted a more diplomatic communicative approach. Still, I found myself reverting to my natural bluntness outside of professional settings.
You see, authenticity is a trait that I value, and I'll be straightforward to declare that my IQ is average since I struggle with mathematical and some scientific concepts. However, if I were to rate my other levels of intelligence, I'd say my EQ, SQ, and AQ are of fierce strength. This makes me cognisant of the fact that bluntness, sugarcoating, or fluff are not necessarily the most effective ways of communicating. So I tend to be respectful of whoever I'm talking to, empathetic to how they might perceive my words, and I'm also mindful of my tone.
For me, tone holds much value, especially in written communication, because the average person finds it harder to read someone's body language through words. Luckily, I'm good at picking up on things such as the energy, mood, and general psyche of others because my spiritual awareness is fairly high, which is beneficial in many ways.
Do people have the ability to change? It's a question that I'm sure you have asked yourself before, right?
I've heard the saying that a leopard doesn't change its spots.
There might be merit and some truth in it. However, I do believe that there are some personality traits that people can change or even tone down if a conscious effort is made.
So, the most accurate question would be, How much can people change?
I think people can change only if they want to.
I've remained true to myself, but through diligent work on myself, taking ownership of my actions, and being a better person, I've tweaked certain areas that I think are essential for forming better connections.
I'm thick-skinned and prefer a direct approach when receiving constructive criticism, and I tend not to beat around the bush, which sometimes comes out like a bombshell or a source of amusement. However, respect for self and others makes me more likely to show some decorum, and my criticisms are always done with my value of benevolence and never from malice.
Mind you, other factors influence people's ways of communication, such as cultural norms and language to a certain degree, but I still think the onus is on each individual to be empathetic and mindful of the way they communicate, without sounding like robots or AI, of course.
Hmmm, the connection of communication and my national spiced bun might seem a little bizarre, you might be thinking? It's not really for me. My learning style is through connection, and some things always jar my memories. Oftentimes it's a pleasant walk down memory lane.:)
#thoughts...
So long!
All the images were taken by me.