Last week I cancelled Pimp Your Post Thursday without explanation. It’s sometimes difficult to share, it was one of those times. Today, I’m in a bit better space and time for me to do some sharing.
From July 28 to August 10th is often a very difficult time of year for me. Those aren’t hard start and end dates, they are anniversaries. July 28th is the anniversary of the passing of my father and August 10th is the anniversary of the passing of my husband.
I actually thought I was doing a lot better with those anniversaries this year until news came on August 8th that my uncle had been admitted to palliative care. If you have been around me, you’ve likely heard me talk about my Uncle Ken, although I rarely called him ‘Uncle’, it was just Ken when we talked. We talked often over the years.
The news was unexpected for me. But, at some level when someone is 101 heading for 102, it’s kind of expected, but followed up quickly with “some day”. For Ken, ‘some day’ happened Tuesday evening. The three men who had had the strongest influence in my life have now all passed in a thirteen day window on different years.
Sometimes things come with synchronicity. I’ve been creating images based on a word every day and posting them. The following day’s word was “legacy”, how perfect. Ken had indeed left a legacy. I created this image:
Posted it with a quote I created:
As the final sands of time fall, the legacy of who we were as a person remains forever.
The DNA Helix on the left represented his life, the colour for what he brought to his life. The hourglass marks his passing. The poppies at the bottom pay tribute to his service in WW2. He indeed has left a legacy behind that will be reflected in everyone he shared time with.
Today was his funeral, I watched it on the livestream the funeral home provided. It lightened my heart to hear the sharing about Ken and his life. Most of all, the relaxed tone of the service and the laughter. It was a service that Ken would have appreciated.
Another synchronicity happened with the service that in some ways speaks to the influence these three men had on my life.
The service opened with the playing of “How Great Thou Art”, apparently dad and Ken shared a love for the same gospel piece. As brothers they likely heard it many times over the years.
The service ended with the playing of “Amazing Grace”, part of which was played on the bagpipes. It was my husband’s favourite song. For him it was literally an anthem for which he stood at attention for. His final wish, that I honoured, was to have a lone piper play it at his gravesite. Ken’s family would have been unaware of those connections when they made the plans.
The service itself included a family friend and three grandchildren sharing stories about Ken. Stories that included a lot of laughter. It also talked about Ken being wounded during WW2. A trauma that influenced much of what followed in his life. Not because of the wounds, but because of how his mindset around them and the rest of his life formed.
Here is a video that was recorded when Ken was 100, he tells his own story:
Not long after Ken passed, my cousin Lynda put a Facebook post up in which she talked about how her dad ended every conversation with “Keep smiling, they will wonder what you’re doing”.
The moment I read it, I remembered the many conversations I had with him over the last few years and yes, he ended everyone of them the same way. You couldn’t help but hang up the phone smiling. He brought love and laughter into any event I was with him at.
In November of 2021 he celebrated his 100th birthday. I created this image as a virtual greeting for him as we were still dealing with COVID:
What I expressed on there was as true at the end as it was then. He never did call himself ‘old’, he called himself a ‘senior senior’. It wasn’t pridefulness, it was part of his mindset to not allow himself to think he was old, that he still had life in him and could contribute. And he did.
I wrote a lengthy post to mark his 100th birthday. I’ll link to it here and let you know, the ageless mindset I talked about in that post, it remained a constant until the day he passed.
He wrote a book after he turned 100. When the neighbour spoke at the service he called the title the best book title ever, I agree with him. He called the book, “My First 100 Years”. I have a copy here, delivered by my cousin Susan. I’ll cherish even more being able to look through the book.
I’ll cherish the memories of the conversations we had, often more than an hour at a time. We talked about a wide range of subjects but we always spent some of the time talking about the Royal Canadian Legion, something we both shared membership of. Him, a Veteran and Life member. Me, an Associate and Life member.
Life membership is awarded for service to the branch and the community. Ken also had the Meritorious Service Medal, it’s awarded for service that continued after receiving Life Membership.
As hard as this period has been, it’s maybe fitting that the three of them; Dad, Ken and Frank will all be remembered at the same time each year. I always add a special remembrance for Dad and Frank at Remembrance time. Ken will be part of that this year.
All three of them were war veterans. Dad and Ken from WW2 and Frank from Korea. All three of them brought similar and different influences into my life. All three of them have my love forever.
RIP Don, Ken and Frank — Lest We Forget
Shadowspub writes on a variety of subjects as she pursues her passion for learning. She also writes on other platforms and enjoys creating books you use like journals, notebooks, coloring books etc. Her Nicheless Narrative podcast airs on Thursdays each week.
NOTE: unless otherwise stated, all images are the author’s.
Some of the image work may have been done in Midjourney for which I hold a licence to use the imges commercially.
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