Reflection: I Can't Stand My Mind!

You be quiet, I'm wounded, I can't stand it anymore, I want to play the beaten man.
The only present idea is that of suicide,
That cowers me every night after a long sigh,
In every dawn there are my enemies,
Stress, panic, anxiety and depressive disorders.

I just want to lose myself, to get out of all this hell,
I guess living like this is not part of the fraternal,
Something is screaming loudly from within,
but I'm left with no context to reflect it externally.

I want to erase every horrible memory,
That like a noose around my neck each time suffocates me,
It feels cold, different, creepy, that's my mind,
I must admit and accept that all the time I've tried to try,
Not to listen to the voices that in my head start to dialogue.

When I think of getting out of there, at a step I fall further in,
Everyone misses you when you're more alive than dead,
But why mourn death if it will be the end of this lament,
In life I'm already rotten inside.

Things you don't know, but I confess,
Every tiny second something is breaking inside,
I don't have much time left,
The one in the black clothes is already digging my hole.

You just say I'm crazy, and you disrespect me,
Crazy doesn't sound crazy to me, That's just the beginning of the story,
You're right in what you say about that,
Society is the one that judges and destroys your projects.

And that's me, an unhinged madman,
Love me if you want to, even if I can't love you,
Do it if you want to, even though I know you're lying to me.
In the end I don't care, I'll tell you between my teeth.

How to force that which is not felt?
If it's true that I'm dependent,
Without realizing it, looking for you, I suddenly lost my way,
Now I talk to my mind so that I never remember you.

It's not that I'm cold for lack of feelings,
It's that the wounds are destroying you inside,
If living is a mistake, I've already lost my courage, my love and all your attention,
This writing is nothing more than the letters of a losing warrior.