I consider myself a very happy person and few things hardly get me down, I've had my beautiful and sad moments, but hey, life goes on. For my wins, I go all out to celebrate, and for my losses, I take it with a pinch of salt, there's always going to be more wonderful causes for celebrations, so no big deal.
I've never felt embarrassed cause I've always had the notion that as long as I did not steal, kill or prostitute, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Matter of fact, prostitutes now own up to their profession without shame, so why should I be embarrassed of anything?
The universe was probably smiling and saying, "dey play" cause truly I was playing, I had no idea. I went on with this mindset for a long time, and made it a point of duty to always avoid situations that could get me embarrassed. Hard as I thought of it, I never pictured a scenario where I could actually be. Stupid me thought I had it all covered and why not? I only went to where I was invited, if I'm going out with friends, I always ensure I have extra cash, if I have to get in an argument, I always state facts, pokenosing in other people's affairs wasn't my cup of tea, I hate insults. What else? Let's skip that, the major thing is I always kept my nose clean and do everything I do with the motive of self respect.
And then, I had a humbling experience, a real humbling one that made me reassess everything I thought I knew. I went to a particular supermarket close to my house one day for a minor household need. I wouldn't have been caught dead in the supermarket but for the fact that I didn't realise the supply of bathing soap had run out at home. I only discovered that morning when I was bathing my son, and being a Sunday, most stores were closed else I wouldn't have walked into a supermarket to buy a #500 soap. I was getting ready for my son for church and I was in a hurry, we were running late.
I ran out of the house, dressed in a a black oversized round neck and jogger pants that had patches of toothpaste on it from when I was brushing my son's teeth. I debated whether to change, but a certain voice in my head that I could slap if I could see told me it didn't matter. The supermarket was close by afterall, just barely 3 minutes walk from my house.
I reached the supermarket and the first person I ran into was my coursemate from the university, Sophie, a girl that I didn't quite like. The feeling was mutual though, there was no love lost between us and throughout our university days, we barely managed to say, "hello" to each other. The reason was simple, it had to do with girls and our petty egos, sort of like a battle of who was more sophisticated and stuff like that. The award nights at school each year always had us pitched against each other. Sometimes, I won the most sophisticated girl award, sometimes, she did. Each of us was a queen in her own lane and rivals kind of.
Anyway, I ran into her at the entrance to the supermarket, she had just stepped out of her car, a black venza 2022 model that looked sleek like the word was coined specifically for it. She looked dashing and stunning and even I admitted that to myself.
I recognized her first, but pretended not to see her as we both entered the supermarket.
"Seyi."
She called and I looked at her like I was clueless as to whom she was. I would have liked to have called her first, but my appearance didn't do me any justice. I slay every other day when I leave the house, and don't run into familiar faces, just this one day that I stepped out of the house in a hurry to buy something, I see someone I know. I wonder why stuff like that happens.
Moving on, I eventually decided to do away with the pretence, what's the problem anyway? I didn't do anything wrong. I brushed my concerns away and greeted her as casually as I could. I looked at her from the top to her feet, and believe me when I say, she checked all the trending fashion boxes effortlessly. Her hair alone would have cost so much that it would make a regular person's head ache from the price. Trust me, I can tell, we women know things like this. Her designer gown, bag, heels, and jewellery that would surely be exclusive gave every single thing it was supposed to give. Damn! Why did I have to be basic on a day like this? If only I had known.
She took her time to appraise me too and scrunching her nose, she asked,
"Is everything okay with you, Seyi? You don't look good."
"I beg your pardon?"
I asked defensively itching to slap her mouth and smear her devilish looking red lipstick all over her face. I felt bad about the way I looked already and having her pont it out was making me crazy.
"I'm sorry, it's just that you look unkempt, plus you have on different pair of slippers. "
She finished, pointing at my feet. I looked down too, and lo and behold, I had two different pair of slippers on. Just how did I not notice? My son must have played with my slippers and mixed it up with the extra one I keep as backup.
In all fairness to Sophie, I did not look okay. I would have thought I was mad too if I was in her shoes.
I nervously explained to her that it was mix up, and that I lived close by which was why I didn't bother to change. She said it was okay, though it was obvious she didn't believe me.
We parted ways and went into different sections to shop, I picked the bathing soap as fast as I could and I wanted to be out of there, before Sophie was done with her shopping, I've had enough of her for one day.
"That would be #500 ma'am, cash or transfer?"
The cashier asked me after scanning my purchase.
"Ca..."
I stopped midway when I realized that I didn't leave the house with money. I had money on the dressing mirror in the room and in my haste I totally forgot to pick it.
"I'm so sorry, I just realized that I didn't come along with money, I'll go back home to get it."
I apologized to the frustrated looking cashier who looked at me from head to toe in disdain. Okay, I forgive him for that, it wasn't his fault. Nigerians are known to jump into conclusions.
"What's all these? Who opened the door for a mad woman to enter?"
He asked, calling out to the security.
"Excuse you? Who is mad?"
The security guard soon came to join us and asked me politely to leave, but I was beyond angry by then. I informed him that I wouldn't leave until the cashier apologized for calling me a mad woman.
He tried to pull me by my hand, but I bit him hard in fury. True, that's another mad person's attribute, it was like giving them more proof of my insanity.
Sophie soon heard the commotion and came out to find out what was wrong. After she was briefed, she paid for my soap and in that moment, I wished the ground would swallow me. I have never felt so embarrassed in my life.
"You shouldn't have paid for her, that's how they all do. She didn't forget any money at home, she never planned to pay."
The cashier told Sophie who shook her head pitifully at me, and led me outside, she offered to drop me home, but I refused.
The first thing I did when I got home was to exit the WhatsApp group I was in with my course mates from school, Sophie included. I just knew I was going to be the topic of the gists for many days, and frankly I couldn't stand it.
I wish there was a way to wash away that incident and ensure it never happened, a way to scrape it like it never existed but sadly, there is no way to. I still think about it sometimes and it's the singular most embarrassing incident that ever occured to me. It's a big deal, but nonetheless, we move.