There was a time I witnessed a friend of mine, Alex, telling a blatant lie to his parents about where he was last night. Alex claimed to be studying at the school library, but then I was very much aware of his movement at that point and knew he was actually at a party that night.
Alex parents seem to trust me so much because they know very well that I am quite a very honest and blunt person. But then, you know the bro code that we guys get to do now. Trying to cover up for him and all of that.
But then, I honestly won't lie, I have done this for him before covering up his mess and all of that stuff. But then, this time, I was really, really pissed low-key because this guy keeps making me look like someone who doesn't have integrity any more.
Which was something I was not cool with because if his parents get to find out I lie for him most times just to cover up his own mess, I'm definitely going to lose my trust in their hearts. Which is definitely going to temper my reputation, which is something I hate so much.
On this particular day, I did lie for him to cover up for him, but then, after that day, I already made up my mind that that was going to be the last time anything like that was going to happen, and I came out straight to him after the call ended because I was already pissed and at that point at what he did the previous night.
Alex went to a party while we were all preparing for exams during that period, and then, not just that, this guy got really drunk to the extent that I had to be his nanny for the night. Cleaning and taking care of his mess because he started throwing up really bad at some point in time.
This guy was not himself overnight and even during the daytime. It took him over 14 hours of time to regain his strength and consciousness. Immediately he got himself a little. I told him bluntly not to ever try this thing he did with me again.
Because his parents were calling back to back during that time. They could sense that something was wrong and all of that. I had to pick up the call at some point and had to lie for him so he doesn't get into trouble and all of that. And then risking my own self for his sake.
Because I then thought about it that, imagine if something badly happened to this boy, I could be jailed for covering up for him. The thought of that alone made me clear the floor to him that I can't keep cleaning his mess every time.
Here's what I did:
- I stayed calm and assessed the situation: I took a moment to think before reacting, considering the potential consequences of my actions. Because I knew myself so well that I could end up overreacting if time wasn't taken. Because thinking about the nanny work I had to do for him overnight alone was something that got me quite pissed, but then it is what it is.
- Talked to Alex privately: I talked to Alex man to man as my brother and friend and expressed my concerns, asking him why he felt the need to drink that much. So to know if something was going on with him, and then he needed someone to talk to him.
- Encouraged honesty: I encouraged Alex not to do things like that that would lead to him lying to his parents. Because what I know for sure is that the moment they discover he lies to them, the moment he loses his trust in their sight. I explained to him very well that honesty is important to help build one's trust and respect in every aspect of life.
- Offered support: I knew what he did was quite annoying and uncalled for. But then, if Alex was my blood brother, regardless of what happens, I will still have to offer to support him. Not to look like I'm supporting what he's doing, but then, it's just a way of being my brother's keeper.
- Respect his decision: If Alex still chose to lie, I would respect his decision but also make it clear that I don't condone dishonesty. And I will never be a part of that from that day on.
Why did I do this?
- Honesty is essential: I believe that honesty is crucial in any relationship. So rather than letting him spoil my reputation by killing the trust his parents have for me, I'll rather clear myself out and leave him to sort his mess himself.
- Trust and respect: Lying will definitely damage the trust and respect his parents have for me. Making it harder to maintain a healthy relationship because of his mess is the least thing I can condone.
- Personal integrity: I wanted to keep myself clean. even if it's difficult to overlook sometimes. Because letting him get into trouble while I know I can help cover up is something I will definitely feel bad about in either way.
- Supportive friendship: I want to support Alex to know I've got his back in both rough and smooth times. That's what brothers do for themselves. Doing this is a positive choice for me, even if it's challenging.
Considering the consequences of my actions:
- Strained friendship: Alex might feel uncomfortable or defensive at first. But then, we cannot be friends. If I can't seem to correct something you're doing wrongly. Because at the end of the day, he will not only tag himself bad, but then he will definitely tag myself also. As people say, birds of the same feathers fly together.
- Parental involvement: If I encourage Alex to tell the truth, his parents might become involved, potentially leading to punishment.
My goal was to support Alex in making a positive choice while also respecting his autonomy and our friendship.
A Time I'm Never Forgetting Easily
Thank you for taking the time to go through my content, and I hope it was worth it, and I also hope you've learned lots of lessons from the community's weekly prompt. This post is in response to the #Hivenaija weekly contest, edition 57.
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