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The human mind and composure is complex, our ability to differentiate between what is right and wrong is subjected to our ability to accept the reality of a situation. We grumble and grind over a period of time despite being cognisance of what is true. To an extent, it can be deduced that the significance of truth depends what we consider to be true. I mean how do you define truth, is it based on the narrative of a person or due to available evidence that proves its significance. What if something is actually true but there is no evidence to prove it is, does that make it any less of truth? The extent we humans go to verify what is considered to be truth is pitiful.
After pondering over what is true or not then the moment comes when an individual sees the truth for himself/herself making it a lot difficult to cope with it because he/she would be forced to consider the time wasted in denial. As an individual, the truth had always been subjective to my opinion, my ability to authenticate it with my instinct which is not always right but I cant go around accepting everything anyone says as truth. I considered it an act of self reliance but as beautiful as it might feels, the need to personally verify what is true has led me astray a couple of times.
When everyone seems to see the truth but I still choose to believe otherwise, I can be strong headed sometimes which is not intentional. It is just my personal defence mechanism to prevent me from be being deceived. An example of such was during my pursuit of higher national diploma in Mass communication at Moshood Abiola polytechnic, as a passionate student whose career is dictated by the desire of making a difference. I faced a situation When I had to choose between what was right and what I wanted. In most institution in Nigeria where you can study mass communication, you have to choose either print or broadcast.
My passion for broadcast related stuff is something I have discussed on multiple occasions on this platform but it was not just a passion, it was something that was backed up with experience. I did my ciwes and Industrial training in a broadcast station called Lagos traffic radio where I developed more interest in the field of broadcast. Gaining admission in Moshood Abiola polytechnic I had already made up my mind about choosing broadcast. I also had a friend who was my course mate during national diploma, we also encouraged me to choose broadcast.
After attending a couple of classes from both course I find myself facing a situation I never prepared for. The issue was that the lecturer in charge of lecturing print student was far better than the lecturer teaching broadcast student in a lot of ways. I once wrote an essay to appraise the lecture on my blog some months ago. I knew what I wanted was broadcast but it was so obvious that choosing print over broadcast at that moment was the best thing for me. So I kept on attending print classes for a couple weeks in HND 1 first semester to the extent I was chosen as the print student hoc due to my contribution in class. It felt good but I never felt comfortable with the decision I have made, it was the right thing but it felt so wrong.
After awhile I switched back to broadcast to satisfy my desire, I remember being called by the print lecturer to ask me about why I made such a decision, I explained to him. His reply was strange, he smiled and said "you should have stayed if only you knew better" but his opinion never mattered to me, I felt like he was probably trying make me regret my decision. The reality was that I knew within me that he was telling me the truth but I couldn't bring myself to accept it, choosing to accept the truth over my passion was not a viable choice at the moment.
Just a couple of broadcast class I attended I knew there was a clear difference between heaven and hell. When I said the print lecturer was far better that the broadcast lecturer you probably think I was talking about their teaching techniques only but it was more than that. Have you ever seen a lecturer that rain curses on students for not buying his textbooks? A lecturer that threatens to fail who ever refused to buy his textbooks? A lecturer that feel joyful whenever he fails his students? A lecturer that claims no one will ever get "A" in is course, and sincerely no one did. there are so much more atrocities committed by this lecturer that I can't mention in this post.
To make matters worst this same broadcast lecturer was also our class advisor, which added more fire to the hellish situation we were facing. While print student were jubilating for getting " A" in print, we broadcast student could not dare do the same. The most painful aspect of it was that we broadcast student undergo a lot of practicals compared to the print student but yet their grades was better than ours, this are not cheap practicals. in a semester each student can contribute up to 30-40000 Naira for practical, excluding the cost of buying textbooks.
I remember waking up in the night few times shedding tears for the wrong decision I have made, I wish I could go back to being a print student. I remember leading a protest along with other concerned broadcast student against our broadcast lecturer in HND 2 second semester when it became too difficult for us endure. The protest kind of humiliated him a little which made him have some kind of grudge against me for being rebellious, he would have failed me if he had the chance. The sad truth is, the evidence of the fact that the choice I made was wrong is still visible on my certificate till this moment, reminding me of the consequences of denying the truth.