Friendship is a bond that brings warmth to the soul and light to our darkest days. The shared laughter, the tears wiped away, and the memories created together form a tree of connection that can provide joy and comfort in our lives. True friendship is a treasure—a beacon of support, understanding, and love that uplifts us when we need it most.
However, like two sides of a coin or a double-edged sword, friendship can significantly impact our lives in both beautiful and challenging ways. On the flip side, friendships can also be sour, leading to heartache, betrayal, and disappointment. When trust is broken, boundaries are crossed, or values clash, friendships can become toxic, draining, and harmful to our well-being.
Many of us, like me, have experienced the dual nature of friendship. In some cases, we have been able to move on; in others, the hurt has left a lasting impact.
Hello readers, My name is Fashtioluwa, Hive's biggest alien, and I am welcoming you to my blog. Feel relaxed as you read. I will be sharing my experience from both sides of friendship.
The Beauty of Good Friendship.
I have a friend named Daniel. We used to work in the same office in 2019. Daniel was someone I would often go home with after work. Since we both took the company bus, we usually left the office together, even though we worked in different sectors of the organization. He was a true friend who always looked out for me. Let me explain why.
On one particular day, I was working overtime because I really needed the money that week. This meant I wouldn’t be taking the company bus home. The bus would drop us off at the bus station, where we could catch a bus to our respective homes. Since Daniel and I lived in the same area, he kept calling me, saying, “Where are you? The bus is about to leave!”
I explained to him why I wouldn’t be able to join the bus that day, and he promised to wait for me at the bus stop. I was surprised and worried when he said this. “What do you mean you will wait for me at the bus stop? In this busy city of Lagos?” I asked, knowing there is always a long queue at the bus station.
He asked me to make it to the bus station on time. Thirty minutes after the company bus left the company grounds, I finally called him. “I’m at the bus station already. In fact, I’m waiting here for you, and I’ve saved you a spot!” I hurried to the bus station, hopping on every bus I could find that would get me there quickly.
When I arrived at the bus station, I discovered that it was Daniel's turn to board the bus, but he didn't get on because he was waiting for me. By the time I got there, the bus was full, but we were now at the front of the line in case a new bus arrived. I was deeply moved by his actions; he had done this for me more than once. This made him the perfect friend I could have at my workplace. Although we still keep in touch, we now work for different companies.
The Other Side of a Coin.
I once had a friend named Pheelz. We were good friends who always stuck together, did things together, and knew each other's secrets. Although Pheelz and I attended different universities, we supported each other throughout our journeys. I told him how prepared I was since my dad had already given me my tuition fee, but the payment deadline was still far off. So, I was building up the amount in my personal account.
After a few weeks, Pheelz called me, saying that his school was about to close their portal. If he didn't pay his school fees soon, he would be kicked out. He pleaded with me to help him out, and I decided to lend him my own tuition fee.
However, when it came time for me to pay my fees, Pheelz was nowhere to be found. I kept calling him, but he didn’t answer. I even asked my other friends to help me reach out to him after explaining what had happened. My school portal was also about to close, meaning I could be sent home. I worried about what kind of story I would tell my dad.
The day he finally picked up his phone, he apologized he didn't have call card "Where is my money?" was the first thing I said to him. He started giving excuse, then started advising me "Borrow from people, when I have I will give you then you can pay back"
That wasn't even what made me angry; what made me angry was this statement.
"Tell your dad na, he has the money. Just tell him you lost the money or something and I am sure he will help you."
I got so angry on the phone and spoke to him the best and without any form of respect anymore. He was unable to give me the money; I had to borrow money from friends; some gave it to me without requesting it. I borrowed from a loan company, and I was able to overcome that part of my life.
Ever since that day, we never spoke to each other again. Now I felt like I should have given him the beating of his life.
In conclusion
Navigating the complexities of friendship requires discernment, communication, and self-awareness. To nurture positive and fulfilling friendships, it is essential to cultivate healthy boundaries, set clear expectations, and honor our own needs and values. It is crucial to recognize when a friendship may no longer serve us, when it's time to let go, or when boundaries need to be re-established. Doing so protects our emotional well-being and honors our authentic selves.
Thanks for reading
This is my entry for the #hivenaija weekly prompt. All images used are mine.