I grew up in a family with nine children, so there was never a dull moment. When there are that many kids around, everything becomes a competition, even who gets the last piece of bread. I am the second oldest boy, and my younger brother was only 18 months younger than me.
He was always jealous of what he called my “first-born privileges.” But his rivalry didn’t stop there. He challenged me on everything as soon as he could walk and talk. If I got praised for helping Mother with chores, he expected to be praised too. And if Father ever put an arm around my shoulders (which happened maybe once or twice), my brother would start screaming until we left each other alone.
We were not rich growing up because our parents had so many mouths to feed and bodies to clothe. My younger bro never liked seeing anything handed to me without throwing a fit about it. He was like the “new” clothes and toys were supposed to be his all along. So you can imagine what happened when we both wanted the same thing, tears, if not punches would end the matter.
The Big Fight that Changed Everything
Things reached a breaking point one sunny day. The big deal was over who got the bigger share of food. If you grew up in the village, you know how food is shared in the family. All of us children have our own special plates. If the food is on another plate, I won't eat unless it's on my own plate. That's how we lived at our house in our young years.
On that day, after the food was shared as usual, my little bro said no to his food. He said my share was more. He took my plate from me. I said no to him. Then, it turned into a big fight. We threw punches and kicks after lots of built-up rage outburst. It stopped only when mom came in as my little bro was lying and wailing on the floor. From that day, we both knew things changed, whether he liked it or not.
A New Appreciation
Even though our fights got heated at times, it never broke the tie between me and my bro. While I established my seniority after our clash, but in front of others, he remains my main support and tough partner. His guts to face anyone who messed with us, no matter their age, was something I liked in secret.
More than once, his quick move to talk up and act first in family stuff was super helpful. While I ruled by being older, he stood with me by acting brave. We didn't grow apart, instead we felt even tighter knowing we both had each other's support no matter what. Our fight set rules, not division, making our team-up get even better.
A Valuable Lesson Learned
As time went on, we chilled out on fighting each other. With new stuff and friends taking up our time, fighting over small things to get noticed felt dumb. We started to value what the other did well and not so well. As the big bro, I led and kept an eye on him. He brought guts, bravery, and wasn't scared to jump in when we did things together.
The big fight we had when we were kids taught us a key point about dealing with brother or sister trouble that we have carried into our as adult age. A little fight and trying to be the best is okay and even good when you're young, but what really makes family ties strong is showing respect and helping each other when it's needed. Making rules and setting limits by talking things out, not with hitting or wild anger, lets brother and sister ties grow deep and true.
Keeping the Family Bond Going
Now that we're in our 40s with our own kids, my brother is still the one I talk to and trust the most. Even though our lives have changed in different ways, meeting up often with all our family keeps our bond alive. I've learned to love his brave heart and how he looked out for me when we were little. We won't lose the memory of old hurts, but they're mostly there to show us the long way we've made it.
My submission for today's prompt in the #mayinleo daily writing challenge.