Have you ever come across a person that always seems peaceful and calm? That person who is able to calm things down whenever there’s fight? Well, I have something about myself that I will share with you - I am one of such people and it is one of the best things that I love about myself.
Do you remember that passage in the bible that says, “blessed are the peacemakers for they shall inherit the earth?” I have held to that as a personal tenet from childhood years. When I try to remember, I was always the kind of kid who did everything to find the common ground instead of joining in a fight. It's like being born with an inbuilt peace resolution mechanism.
Imagine this, little me being a referee in all of my siblings’ fights. It was like the most demanding job in the universe. While children fought over dolls or who should get the last cookie, I was trying to figure out who would be the right person to get the cookie or at best how they should divide it. There were moments when I thought perhaps I should even partake in a little of the fighting, but for some reason, I always felt an internal restraint anchoring me to the center.
As I grew older, this desire for peace did not lessen, if anything, it became more pronounced. It felt like a physical attribute that I have been strengthening for ages, only that now, that has become a core aspect of my persona. And you know what? Every year, I have come to appreciate this aspect of me even more.
However, here is the dilemma: being a peacemaker does not entail avoiding all quarrels. It means fighting for peace wherever and whenever possible, even in the harshest of circumstances. And this is primarily what I experienced when our father died.
You can imagine how difficult it can be to lose your parents. But when family drama come into play, it feels like being in a pressure pot ready to explode. The monsters came out in everyone’s eyes and people were ready to rip each other apart, all unresolved issues were brought to the table, and freshly brewed issues emerged like mushrooms after a rain. It was a mess, to say the least.
But there I found myself in the middle of it all finding a way to do what I do best first- mediating. I picked up the different emotions of people including their complaints, sorrow, and went on all the way to search for peace. I must admit it wasn’t an easy task and even at one time I thought it was an exercise in futility. But I stick at it, reminding all my brothers and sisters of the warmth I am used to seeing and the unity in the face of adversity.
And you know what? It worked. Little by little, the wrath started to wear off. People were no longer yelling at each other but talking to one another. People came together and didn’t have to walk in separate directions. If I had not taken charge, I don’t know how it would have been in the more extreme scenarios. Hatred and anger as well as resentment were all factors that could have split up the family for good.
Looking back , I understood that my peacemaking skills did not only stop a family quarrel. I saw that they helped us all to move on. When faced with the loss of a father in a polygamous family, we were still able to come together instead of going our separate ways. And that is something I am very proud of.
This experience made me realize something I have always believed in, and that is: peace does not mean that there are no more conflicts. Peace is an active force that is available to mend relationships and cure people. Becoming a mediator is not always easy, but most times it pays off in the end.
So yes, I relish this about myself. I relish the fact that as a person I do not shy away from conflict. I relish the fact that I am able to go into any charged situation and help people regale their nervousness. I relish the fact that I am capable of turning bitter opponents into allies. And I really relish the fact that I was able to positively influence the people around me.
If you are reading this and thinking ‘oh, why couldn’t I do this?’ Here is a not so big secret: you can. Peacemaking is not some skill that only some people are born with. Anyone can learn, evolve and perfect that. You only need to take the first leap – the next time you notice two people squeezed in the middle of a helpless argument, try to put yourself in each of their shoes. Look for constructive ways of resolving the conflict rather than putting up barriers. Without a doubt, you will enjoy the sensation that comes with being the person that unites different people.
The world as it Is today has potential but there is more negativity today than ever; there is no peace and hence there's need for more peacemakers in the world. So why not be one of them? And who knows? You would simply find out you love this about yourself too.
This is my submission for the #octoberinleo day 4 prompt.