Sometimes, peace of mind doesn’t come from big things in life but can come from something as small as saying a simple word No to some request. To many people, this may not seem like a big deal. But for me, learning to say no without feeling guilty about it has brought me a sense of peace to my life that I never knew I needed it.
For a long time now, I felt like I had to say yes to every demand, to every request, to everything and to everyone. If someone needed help, I’d say yes. If I was asked to go somewhere I didn’t want to go, I’d still say yes, if I'm asked to do a task, even at my won expense, I'll still say yes. Even when I had my own plans, I would agree just to avoid letting others down. I don't like it when I'm being seen as selfish or unkind person or when I disappoint anyone. So, I kept saying yes even when I didn’t mean it.
But every yes that went against how I truly felt made me very unhappy. I would say yes with a smile, but on the inside, I would feel frustrated about it. I wasn’t doing things because I wanted to. I was doing them because I didn’t know how to say no without feeling bad about it. There are times I will tell someone yes and end up not doing what was asked of me.
Over time, this began to affect my peace of mind. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was putting everyone else first. That’s when I started to realize I had to start saying no. It isn’t rude. It isn’t selfish. Is just me being honest which I see as a way of showing respect not just to others, but also to myself.
I remember the first time I said no to someone and meant it, I was nervous within me. My heart was beating and heavy. I expected the person to be disappointed but she understood and just said, Okay no problem. She didn’t get angry. It was from that moment I realized that most people won’t hate you for saying no. In fact, many will respect you more for being honest.
Even though there are others that might get offended by my reply but I still maintain my stand.
So now, when I say no, I try not to carry any guilt with it. The truth is, saying no is part of taking care of myself, attending to my own needs and been truth and honest to myself. It protects and give me peace of mind. And of course, there are still moments when I feel a little bit unsure. I still care about others and don’t want to disappoint anyone’s or hurt anyone's feelings. But nevertheless I remind myself that peace of mind doesn’t come from always pleasing people. It comes from being true and honest to myself.
To someone else, saying no may seem like a small thing. Just a word. Just a choice. But to me, it’s a quiet form of form of being free. It’s a way of saying, I have my own plans, needs and worries at that moment and It matter too. I can say yes at my expense or accept to do something and later don't do it.
Peace of mind doesn’t always come from doing more or everything. Sometimes, it comes from doing less, less pleasing, less explaining, less forcing ourselves into situations that don’t feel right. Sometimes, it simply comes from saying No (sorry I can't do this now) and letting that be enough.