Relationships have a way of teaching us things we never expected. When I think about the most valuable lesson I’ve learned, my mind immediately goes to my long distance relationship with my boyfriend. It’s been eight months now and I must say, loving someone who isn’t physically present has been a journey filled with challenges, but it’s also been a source of profound growth.
When we first started, I thought love was all about being close, you know sharing the same space, going on dates frequently, and being there for every little moment. In fact, there was a time I swore that I’d never be involved in a long distance relationship haha. But the long distance is the test itself. It plainly demonstrates what love truly means.
Being in a long distance relationship has forced me to lean majorly on trust and communication and this is what proximity sometimes masks. I’ve come to realize that being in love isn’t about how often we are with each other but about how intentional we are with the time we share, even if it’s over a video call.
Now this is one of the most difficult lessons I’ve learned so far - patience. Life has its way by pulling us in different directions and of course it’s part of the journey of chasing our individual dreams but alas the waiting feels unbearable most times. There are days when the distance feels like an invisible wall, separating not just our bodies but moments we wish we could share in real time. It was through those lonely days, that I learned to trust the strength of our bond. I discovered that love is a choice you make daily, even when it’s so hard.
I can’t talk about patience without mentioning its twin - communication. It has been the biggest game changer. It was during this long distance between us that I realized that It’s super easy to take communication for granted. Thank goodness for gestures, expressions, shared routines and generally the memories that we rely on.
Now that all we have is our voices, and text messages, we're (I especially am) forced to be intentional with the words we say to each other. I’ve learned to say what I feel, to express gratitude, to check in regularly, and to resolve misunderstandings quickly. Emphasis on quickly!
This relationship has taught me the value of consistency. Small acts like sending a good morning text, planning virtual game nights, and simply listening when he has had a tough day mean everything. In addition, it’s about showing up in whatever way possible and proving that even when the miles separate us, we’re still fully invested.
These lessons from my long distance relationship have helped in other areas of my life. I’ve become more patient with my friends and family, more willing to communicate openly, and more intentional about nurturing my connections. I’ve learned that love, in all its forms, requires effort, grace, patience and understanding.
There’s a saying that “out of sight is out of mind”, well, I’ve realized that distance doesn’t diminish love, it refines it when the parties involved are willing to be intentional. It has taught me to value what I have and fight for what I want, not physical fight, I’m just a girl.
Loving across the miles hasn’t just strengthened my relationship with my boyfriend, it’s taught me to show up with more love, not just for him but for everyone I care about.
Finally, I’m grateful for this chapter in my life. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s shown me what love can endure when you’re willing to do the work. It’s a lesson I’ll carry with me, no matter where life takes us.
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Thank you for reading my story.