Hello everyone, I hope you all had a great night's rest, well in response to the hivenaija weekly prompt "What's that one thing you didn't know about yourself till someone told you about it. Whether it's a physical feature or a character trait".
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My male friends have always told me that I was too nice. I would ask them how, and the first point they would list is that I have my way with words and the manner I speak. Of course, I did not pay much attention to them until one of my female friends said something that made me pay more attention to what my friends had always told me. She said I was so friendly that it sometimes gave off a flirty signal.
People mostly ladies often mistake my friendliness for flirtation, But in reality, I’m just being nice. It’s quite interesting and makes me reflect on how social dynamics and communication methods can easily be misinterpreted. The way I engage with others is generally open, warm, and enthusiastic, which might be misinterpreted as a romantic interest to some. However, that’s not my intention at all. I had to give all this explanation to an acquaintance because she made a statement when I was just complimenting her on how good her outfit looked on her, she said: “omorr with this your sweet mouth you go sabi toast woman ooo”. I was stunned because I saw it as an innocent compliment.
The confusion likely comes from how people interpret behaviors such as smiling, making eye contact, or engaging in thoughtful conversations. For me, these are just basic modes of good communication. Smiling is a way to put others at ease, and eye contact shows that I’m involved in the conversation and actively listening. Active listening, where I nod along or ask follow-up questions, is simply part of being attentive. These behaviors, which are important for building bonds and establishing trust, can sometimes be read as flirtatious when someone is looking through a romantic lens.
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Another cause of this misinterpretation could be the way I communicate verbally or the tone and choice of words I use. I tend to speak in a positive, sometimes playful manner, as I believe it helps keep conversations light and entertaining. Compliments, for instance, are a normal part of my conversations because I enjoy acknowledging others’ positive qualities. When I tell someone they’re funny, charming, or have a great sense of style, I’m simply showing admiration, not romantic interest. But depending on the context or how the other person feels, these comments can be misread.
This mix-up speaks to the larger issue of how friendliness and flirtation can blur, especially in settings where people are more attuned to romantic signals, like social events or online interactions. People’s interpretations are influenced by their own experiences, expectations, and insecurities. If someone is used to others being more reserved or distant, my warmth could stand out as unusual and lead to the assumption that there’s more behind it.
Finally, I think it’s important to remember that people have different communication styles, and just because someone is friendly doesn’t mean they’re flirting. My goal is to make people feel comfortable and valued in conversations, not to send mixed signals. It’s a reminder that intentions don’t always translate perfectly and that it’s okay to clarify those intentions if someone misinterprets them.
Thanks for Reading
All images were AI generated